Apt. #632A- The Spenser Residence

[Elda Forever]

Yukito Maki

"I dunno..." Yukito mumbled to her, holding her closer. "But I do know they love you, Erin. Anyone will tell you that - they care about you. Do you want me to stay?" he whispered. Erin nodded, not lifting her head from his shoulder. "I will. And we can work this out."

He pulled Erin closer and looked up to meet the eyes of her unbeatable father, "Whether you like it or not, Erin and I are together, Mr. Spenser. And whether you believe it or not, we didn't do anything last night but try and sleep off yesterday's mistakes."

Yukito then waited for the words that would prove he hadn't thought through his miniature speech, yet again. "I don't want to not like it, but neither of you are making that easy. We had no idea what had happened to her, Yukito. Can you understand why we were so worried? Why it is so grating how both of you are trying to brush it off as if it was nothing? What do you mean when you say yesterday's mistakes? I have the right to know what happened to my child."

He frowned. The guy kind of had a point, if you believed in the doting parent syndrome. She's got her own life, you know. And we're trying our best to work through it without everyone else's crap making us second-guess ourselves all the time. Isn't it the point of loving someone, that they don't make you unhappy with yourself, that they're there for you, even when you screw it all up?

"What were yesterday's mistakes, Erin? Yukito? Or don't you think I have a right to know? Whatever the case, Erin, you know better than to spend the night at a boy's house! You know better, and you know better than to try to lie."

"Yukito..."

"She doesn't have to tell you," Yukito said flatly, "It's her own decision to tell you or not. If you really think about it, isn't it your job to make her able to face the world? Because the world sucks, Mr. Spenser. Everyone knows that. And we made the mistake of thinking we could do it alone, with our parents there to support us." The last words were hissed, practically, and he knew he was on a floor of eggshells, but he refused to feel Erin torn and confused in his arms with a verbal tirade from her dad grating into her already worn-out system. "Yesterday's mistakes were yesterday's mistakes. Yeah, she knows better. But so do you." He stiffened, "Or at least, you'd like to think you do. What happened to your child was me. The concussion, the school stuff, and the way she's been acting. It's all been about me and her. And you can either try and dish out some big-worded issue from it, or you can deal with it straight-out, like normal people do."

"I love her. For everything."

[GGJ5]

Erin Spenser

Her father's words made Erin want to just bury her head so she couldn't hear them-- they embarrassed her, made her feel like she should be ashamed, made her sure that the things she'd just finally yelled out moments ago had fallen on deaf ears. She couldn't answer his questions, she just couldn't. "Yukito..."

"She doesn't have to tell you," Yukito said flatly. His frankness to her dad's words surprised her, though she knew it shouldn't have. "It's her own decision to tell you or not. If you really think about it, isn't it your job to make her able to face the world? Because the world sucks, Mr. Spenser. Everyone knows that. And we made the mistake of thinking we could do it alone, with our parents there to support us." She could hear the agitation in his words, and ventured turning to her father, still refusing to let go of Yukito. If she did, she might fall. Erin had always been used to her dad's subdued reaction to everything-- when he wanted to shout, he whispered, when he wanted to curse, he'd recite something instead, it was his weird and quirky way of keeping his cool in a family dominated by overreacting females. Rarely had she seen him willing to show his frustration or anger, and she'd never been good with reading faces anyway... But now Erin could tell he was reaching his limit with her, and with Yukito. "Yesterday's mistakes were yesterday's mistakes. Yeah, she knows better. But so do you. Or at least, you'd like to think you do. What happened to your child was me. The concussion, the school stuff, and the way she's been acting. It's all been about me and her. And you can either try and dish out some big-worded issue from it, or you can deal with it straight-out, like normal people do."

Wow... For a moment Erin couldn't really think of anything, Yukito's words flooring her. It was all so much... she didn't want to start crying again, it was humiliating. She put her head back on him, almost defensively. Her dad was smart and he knew it-- he didn't like being wrong or looking wrong, and Yukito had argued his point for her really well.. at least she thought so. Another headache was creeping up on her, the concussion's effects prolonged by her little episode of rebellion.

Jacob Spenser took in the words Yukito tossed at him with as clinical an expression, though they really had put him past his limit. The thought of just abandoning her to touch the hot stove as much as she dared until she made the connection that she'd get burned every time went against everything he wanted for her. It was his job to protect Erin, not a boy's job. And there she stood clinging to him like that, so protectively, in her bare feet and short skirt... She'd stayed over at his house like that, and he knew the statistics, the probability... Yukito's admission, though, that he should blame him for everything Erin had been doing and experiencing pushed under his skin even more. He wanted the blame, then, since he couldn't get a word of reassurance from either one, he'd get the blame. "If that's how you want it to be, then that's how it is," he finally voiced tersely. Vague enough to be re-interpreted, but sufficient enough.

"I love her," Yukito said, the frank admittance swamping Erin with fresh admiration for him. "For everything."

This time her dad didn't miss a beat-- while Erin was still registering the words, he hastened a quick, "I'm going to check on your mother, Erin." He left the room, and Erin knew she wouldn't hear the end of it for a long time after Yukito went home. And all in one fell swoop, it was as if everything from the past 24 hours hit her again-- the really screwed up emotional roller coaster forced the tears to start up again, and Erin closed her eyes against them fiercely, hiding her face from Yukito in his chest. "I don't want you to see me crying," she explained, though words muffled.

The words were like breaking a dam, though, and she started crying harder, anyway-- everything was just too much. From being a heady, giddy, and carefree version of herself, to the feelings of acceptance and love at waking in his arms, to the anxiety and melancholy his mother's words had filled her with, to the agitation she'd felt throughout the morning, to being happy again beside him, to all the intense frustration and hurt at coming home... learning a little reason for her parents' possessiveness, still feeling ignored and a hollow disappointment... it was too much, and Erin thought she might explode. "No one--" she started, words jumbling with the breaths of sobs. "It-- should be-- ill-legal to-- to feel so much-- at once!"

[Elda Forever]

Yukito Maki

Yukito could almost see the anger simmering beneath the surface of Mr. Spenser's calm exterior. It irritated him that he couldn't get through to the guy, but in the end, he didn't want to anymore. And as long as he could stay out of it, he planned to. But not if it meant Erin was standing there crying in his arms. "If that's how you want it to be, then that's how it is,"

"I love her," was all he said in response, "For everything."

"I'm going to check on your mother, Erin." Mr. Spenser declared, as he escaped from the room, and Yukito was frozen for a moment, uncertain of what he should do or say now but unwilling to move and accept that he didn't know. Erin's face was buried in his shirt, and he could feel how she wanted to hide, wanted to be comforted, and wanted to give in and fight, all at the same time. "I don't want you to see me crying,"

A smile started to sneak across his face, and his arms moved to engulf her more tightly, his head leaning down to rest against hers. "Aww...but Erin," he said with a sort of half-chuckle to his words, "You're beautiful when you cry. Even if it's my fault and I feel awful about it."

"No one--" the words came out between her tears and chokes, the urge to cry overwhelming her urge to hide it, "It-- should be-- ill-legal to-- to feel so much-- at once!"

He smirked, one edge of his lip significantly higher than the other. "Yeah, I know..." Boy, he knew. Emotions sucked, as far as he was concerned. They could either abandon you and leave you looking like a heartless freak, or they could swarm in and ambush you with several bipolar screaming feelings at one, all on opposite ends of the scale. They left fleetingly. They lingered for years.

"Erin..." he said quietly, a solemn look on his face as he gently pulled her back, "I think you should go talk to your parents. And I think that I should go, so...that you can do that." His insides squirmed at the prospect of leaving her now, of all times. It sounded to his first instincts as if he was tossing her among angry wolves, but he realized now that Erin's relationship with her parents was unlike what he had with his own. They really care about her. They need her. And she can depend on them to worry about her, to see if she's okay, to be overprotective and annoying. "They love you, Erin. I know they do. And my parents..." he hesitated, "I don't know if they do all the time. In fact, I'm certain my dad doesn't care about me a fraction of how much your dad cares about you. And I don't want you to lose that with them now. So...please..." He smiled at her, "I'm here if you need me. Just start blaring your music or something, and I'm bound to hear it from the parking lot, much less a few doors down."

[GGJ5]

Erin Spenser

"I don't want you to see me crying," Erin mumbled by way of explanation as to why she wouldn't lift her head up to see him. She hated to think of him seeing her with red crying eyes and a wet face-- there was already enough damage to repair, wasn't there?

Yukito tightened his hold on her, which in and of its own made her feel just a little better, with his head resting against her own. "Aww...but Erin," he said with a sort of half-chuckle to his words, "You're beautiful when you cry. Even if it's my fault and I feel awful about it."

The words didn't help so much, though, probably because she couldn't keep back the urge to sob like a stupid kid, and she hated it. "No one--" she halted, words struggling in the rush of emotion. "It-- should be-- ill-legal to-- to feel so much-- at once!"

"Yeah, I know..." he told her simply. Which was fine, because really, she just wanted him to hold her until she felt better, so maybe she wouldn't fall apart. But then she felt Yukito ever so gently pull her back from him, so that she could see his face. Remembering how her face must look to him, Erin immediately began wiping at the tears on her face, mentally cursing herself in the meantime for being so spineless and fragile. He's gonna change his mind, he's not gonna want me, he's gonna remember all the bad things and isn't gonna want me again!

"Erin..." His voice saying her name nearly froze her. Here it comes, oh, God, here it comes, I screwed it all up with him and disappointed him, too...

"I think you should go talk to your parents. And I think that I should go, so...that you can do that." The words kind of just fell at her feet limply, since they weren't what she'd anticipated at all, and Erin just looked at him blankly for a moment. You're gonna leave? You want me to talk to them? Why? Don't go... "They love you, Erin. I know they do. And my parents... I don't know if they do all the time. In fact, I'm certain my dad doesn't care about me a fraction of how much your dad cares about you. And I don't want you to lose that with them now. So...please..." He smiled at her, and a huge chunk of her fears that he would change his mind about her flitted away. How could she be so stupid to think he'd be like that to her? Not after all he'd done for her, no way. "I'm here if you need me. Just start blaring your music or something, and I'm bound to hear it from the parking lot, much less a few doors down."

Erin offered a weak smile, though sincere, then buried herself back in Yukito's arms. "Fine," she commented, "just stay like this for a minute, okay?" Another shaky breath from residual tears. "Just for a minute, and then... I'm sorry..." She trailed off, having no more words, and not really sure what exactly she was apologizing for, as she replayed what Yukito had said to her dad. 'I love her for everything...'

[Elda Forever]

Yukito Maki

"I'm here if you need me. Just start blaring your music or something, and I'm bound to hear it from the parking lot, much less a few doors down." He wondered in the back of his mind why she looked so worried as he told her he should probably go. At his smile, however, she returned a weak version of her own. Then she snuggled up close to him again, as if she knew he would protect her if she could make herself small and as close to him as possible.

"Fine, just stay like this for a minute, okay?" Her voice was quivering and he could hear the tears in her voice. "Just for a minute, and then... I'm sorry..."

He smiled as he buried his face in her hair. Why is she apologizing? Because her parents are protective of her? "Sure..." he said quietly, the words muffled. He encompassed her in his arms, wanted to offer more than just his bodily warmth for a moment, in order to comfort her and give her a little boost to help her when he wasn't there. He racked his brain for some way to assure her that he would be there, and not make it seem like he was abandoning her to her parents. Well, he'd proven that, hadn't he? He had stuck around for the awkward yelling stage, now they would probably lecture or have some long, mush-filled talk. That's how it happened in families like this, right? And she knew she could come to him afterward, and that he could hold her like he was holding her now. He was afraid - that all this was just going to complicate things for her more, strain her family bond, hurt her again... He was confused - unsure where to keep his distance, and if it actually helped or hurt her more. He was shocked - that he would ever make it such a big deal to treat another person this way, like a complex web around their feelings was actually a good thing for him, a step ahead for him. And he was happy - because he needed a boost from her, too. To face his own problems.

After a few long minutes of thinking, he forced himself to speak, to say what was on his mind to her, even though his voice sounded strained and showed too clearly his hidden nervousness. "Hey...later, when you can... I want to sit down and talk to you. About everything..." he swallowed, "And it doesn't have to be, like, now. But...I don't want you to be afraid." he nearly choked on his next line, swallowed down repeatedly by his pride and arrogance, "I don't want to be afraid, either. We'll...get through this, okay?" he assured her, as well as himself, as he laid his cheek atop her head, "....I love you, Erin."

Another pause, and he had to mentally force himself to pull away from her, smiling down at her tear-stained face. He suddenly leaned down and kissed her frantically, as if afraid she would slip away from him before he had a chance to really tell her, he cradled her head in his hands, feeling a clamp around his heart as it thudded in his chest. "I'll see you later."

[GGJ5]

Erin Spenser

Yukito didn't protest against her wanting to stay there for a minute in his arms-- it just made her feel better than any words could say. It made her feel safe, and wanted, and loved, and she wouldn't fall apart, even though her head was pounding to match her heart and her mouth was dry and her face was wet and eyes felt swollen from tears.

She surprisingly hadn't moved at all the entire time Yukito held her silently, and with each moment her urge to cry subsided more and more. But they couldn't stand there forever-- not even much longer than what they'd had, and Yukito's strained voice broke the silence-- strained, but she loved to hear him anyway. "Hey...later, when you can... I want to sit down and talk to you. About everything..." He paused, and Erin lifted her eyes to meet his. "And it doesn't have to be, like, now. But...I don't want you to be afraid. I don't want to be afraid, either." He sounded afraid, though, if Erin had to guess. And she loved him for letting himself be vulnerable to her. "We'll...get through this, okay?" She could feel him resting on her head, and breathed deeply. "....I love you, Erin."

For a second Erin looked at him, nearly overwhelmed with awe at his simple statement, with affection, with mutual feeling that she almost forgot she should voice her thoughts to him, too. Then, "I love hearing you say that." Eh.. not exactly what she'd meant to say-- well, actually it was, because it was true, but Yukito probably didn't expect to hear that, and that's not what you said to someone when they confessed their love to you... She didn't say anything else, waiting to see his response.

His response was to move her away a bit so he could give her a smile and he kissed her with a wonderful kiss, like it was the first one they'd shared. She could only gaze at him, like she'd been charmed, as he cupped her chin in his hands. "I'll see you later," he told her, breaking the "spell".

She blinked, the last of the tears finally gone at last. "All right," she said, not hiding the sigh. But she knew he couldn't stay. She kissed his lips again. "I love you, too... I'll... see you later."

[Elda Forever]

Yukito Maki


"We'll...get through this, okay?" He said, almost reassuring himself even more than her, "....I love you, Erin."

Erin looked up at him, not saying anything for a long, quiet moment. He wanted to ask her what she was thinking about, and he wanted to laugh and suggest that she'd gotten distracted by some thought flashing through her mind. "I love hearing you say that."

He arched an eyebrow and felt a smile starting across his lips. "That's good." Because going to start turning into one of those phrases that keeps being said over and over again, until you really get sick of it, or forget that it means anything. He moved away to send her a smile and a desperate goodbye kiss to remember. Yukito met her eyes, still glued to his, and cupped her chin in his hands. "I'll see you later," he promised.

He carefully watched her as she blinked away the remnants of the emotional roller coaster he'd pushed her into, "All right," she sighed, and he chuckled that he'd kissed her well enough to make her want him to stay longer. She kissed his lips again. "I love you, too... I'll... see you later."

Yukito nodded, slowly drawing his hands away from her so he could turn the doorknob - it offered a lot less warmth and comfort, he had to admit - and he kept his head inside until the last second, sending her a smirk that went from ear to ear as his last comment was, "Oyasume." Sure, it technically wasn't nighttime, but it was what he'd said last time he'd spent the evening making out at her house. It seemed to fit. Like an inside joke of theirs. His way of saying that he was deliriously happy with the way things had turned out, even if they weren't perfect.

Yukito is done here. *ruffles his hair*

[GGJ5]

Erin Spenser

She kissed his lips again. "I love you, too... I'll... see you later," Erin said reluctantly, remembering how nice it had been to wake up to him next to her. And remembering what she probably had in store, and much preferring him to that.

Yukito nodded, slowly drawing his hands away from her and opening the front door. She didn't like the cold that she felt as he moved away. It seemed wrong-- their being separated again so soon after fighting it for so long. Don't leave me, don't leave me again! she protested in her aching head, but there was no way he could do that. It wasn't his fault, and they wouldn't let him stay any longer anyway... So Erin resigned herself to the fact that he was leaving, and she'd just have to deal with that.

Watching him as he stepped out, lingering as much as possible in the doorway, it finally hit Erin as he grinned at her. When he told her, "Oyasume" and closed the door behind him. He always loved me. He still loves me. He does, and I don't care about anyone else.

"Erin, come on, I think we need to talk."

Her mother's subdued tone barely filtered through the resounding gong in her head: Yukito loves me. No one else, just me.

She'd deal with the lectures and 'talks' she'd earned. She could deal with being grounded for weeks if it meant what Yukito had told her was true. That made any punishment worth it.

"Comin'."

He loves me.

El Fin Aqui[/u]

[GGJ5]

Erin Spenser

She sent a few more messages in all caps to Aidousan's offline MSN account before closing the window in frustration, shutting down the computer with a mashing of the power button a little more forceful than necessary. He still wouldn't give her a straight answer and it was enough to drive a person insane- what was it with these guys from Japan and not giving straight answers? What, did they offer a class called "How to screw with people's minds and guive the most vague answers possible"? All Aidousan had done was turn the tables and start accusing Erin of hating him, and not wanting him to date Cassie and other bull-crap like that.

Which, by the way, makes ZERO sense, because I was the one who said she wanted a double date... I was the one who was the most excited to find out they were together! I was the one who started coupling her name with his last name, and they just started dating! God, how in the heck could he think I didn't want them together? Those thoughts and more all manifested themselves in a frustrated scream-mingling-with-growl and her hands in her hair. Luckily the sounds from her music and the closed door drowned out the noise, so she didn't have to hear the "whatever is wrong, honey?" sap-questions from her parents.

Her mom would probably call Aidousan and tell them to make up or something... Ugh.

Then she thought that making up would be really good, because that's what she'd been TRYING to do before Aidousan virtually hung up on her. And the last thing she wanted was Cassie mad at her, too, even though Erin knew good and well she wasn't in the wrong.

"Fine, whatever," she muttered to herself before sending a short text to Aidousan's phone: let me make it up to u ok?

He probably would just delete it, though.

[More than Music]

Kagayaki Aidou

He was already in front of her house before he received a text message from Saikochan. He knew it was her but he couldn't read it. Tears were pouring down his face, a bag on either arm that he really wasn't in the position to be carrying. Kagayaki was ready to collapse and he didn't want to be here anymore.

It hurt. It hurt and he wanted to go home where he could hide away and not break everyone in half.

"i can just feel that we're at a turning point and if anyone moves the wrong way we'll all fall and wreck everything" Kagayaki couldn't get rid of Cassiechan's voice repeating this over and over in his head, even though she hadn't actually said it. But he could still hear it and it was making him cry.

He went to the door and banged on it. Through the tears he let out a strangled cry: "Saikochan!"

It felt awful. She hadn't deserved him saying that stuff to her. His problems weren't hers, and she didn't deserve to see that he was second-guessing what made him happiest. Cassiechan didn't deserve to have him leave without even so much as a note. It wasn't fair. But it wasn't fair that he was breaking again, so soon after he had told himself he wouldn't survive another one.

The day he had drove into the brick wall and nearly killed himself was coming back. For some bizarre reason, he wished he had driven faster. It would have been fatal, he knew that. But it would have, maybe, saved them all from this position of fear and confusion.

Cassie wouldn't be hurt.

Erin wouldn't be hurt.

Yukito would be fine.

And Kagayaki would be where everyone was too far away for him to break their hearts... and their trust.

"GROW UP!" Saikochan's voice was screaming in his head, Cassie's voice still echoing with more sadness than he ever wanted to hear again.

He fell on his knees as the door opened and Saikochan's face appeared. "I sorry.... please..." He couldn't say anymore. He wasn't sure what he could possibly do to make her feel better. To make this better. All he could do was repeat what he'd just said, over and over again, choking on tears.

He'd ruined everything. Yes, nothing had been close to perfect. But they had been happy. And he'd ruined everything.

"I sorry....."

[GGJ5]

Erin Spenser

There was a knocking at the front door, and immediately Erin knew it had to be Aidousan, which meant he must have already been headed her way before she texted him. God, seriously? That big of a deal to him? Or maybe he was coming to yell at her. Which would be weird, because she couldn't really imagine him yelling, but then everybody did weird things now and then...

She rushed to the door before either of her parents could get there and her eyes widened at the very bizarre sight of Aidousan crying on his knees, and her first thought was, I hope that's not how you plan to propose to your girlfriend one day... Then she realized that her snappy comments had caused this reaction from him. And it kind of felt horrible. "I sorry.... please..." The words were divided by the crying, something she never expected to witness, but there it is, all because she had let him know she didn't like something he said...

"Aidousan, stop," she ordered quietly, stepping outside onto the balcony in front of her home.

"I sorry....."

Erin shook her head at him, kneeling down beside him herself. If what she said had caused that kind of reaction, some things had to be said. "No, Aidousan, stop it. I can't talk to you if you're crying, okay?" She glanced around him. "What are the bags for?" She could guess what he was doing, probably threatening to run back home, but she doubted he'd go through with it once he was calmed down again. She ventured a joke. "I know you can't stand being apart from me, but my parents would never allow it." Then in a genuinely serious tone, "Aidousan, listen. Calm down, okay? It'll be all right, really. I don't hate you at all, Aidousan, and I don't think anyone with a heart ever really could." She smiled gently to emphasize her point. "I didn't mean to overreact on you, okay? Half the crap I say is exaggeration and I don't think through it. But, Aidousan, do you think maybe we both overreacted?" She tried to weigh her words so she wouldn't say something stupid again and make Aidousan start crying more. It was all really surreal...

Erin put her arm around his shoulders, trying to silently console him. "Aidousan, why did my stupid comments hurt you so much?"

[More than Music]

Kagayaki Aidou

"I sorry.... please..."

"Aidousan, stop," she said, but he couldn't stop. He couldn't.

"I sorry....." he repeated, his throat tight and he could barely see.

She slowly knelt beside him. He had no strength to stand, so this was a good thing. "No, Aidousan, stop it. I can't talk to you if you're crying, okay?" Was he making everything worse by coming here? Saikochan looked down to his bags. "What are the bags for?" He saw a little bit of a sparkle in her eyes. "I know you can't stand being apart from me, but my parents would never allow it."

He sighed, hiding his face in his hands. "Please..."

"Aidousan, listen. Calm down, okay? It'll be all right, really. I don't hate you at all, Aidousan, and I don't think anyone with a heart ever really could. I didn't mean to overreact on you, okay? Half the crap I say is exaggeration and I don't think through it. But, Aidousan, do you think maybe we both overreacted?" she asked. He slowly looked up at her, eyes still full of tears, and nodded.

"Hai."

"Aidousan, why did my stupid comments hurt you so much?"

Her arms closed in around him and he wrapped his around her tightly. Most of his life, he had shunned away from physical contact with anyone. Anyone. His girlfriends had managed to break that gap just a little but it closed whenever they were gone. But Erin had a special place in his heart.

Like she was part of his family. His imouto, little sister. The little sister he wished he'd had and that loved him no matter what.

And when he had felt like she didn't approve of him anymore, everything collapsed.

"You... you like... my imouto, Saikochan. Littrl sisterl." he whispered, still holding her close. "Rlov you..."

[GGJ5]

Erin Spenser

"Aidousan, listen. Calm down, okay? It'll be all right, really. I don't hate you at all, Aidousan, and I don't think anyone with a heart ever really could. I didn't mean to overreact on you, okay? Half the crap I say is exaggeration and I don't think through it. But, Aidousan, do you think maybe we both overreacted?"

"Hai." He nodded sadly.

"Aidousan, why did my stupid comments hurt you so much?" Before he could answer, she tried to add to her attempt of an apology with a hug, one which he returned, reminding Erin of a kid much younger than he was. Like despite everything he felt he hadn't really been tarnished by it. But at the same time, Erin couldn't understand him... not really.

"You... you like... my imouto, Saikochan. Littrl sisterl," he whispered quietly. At first Erin didn't get the connection, and then Aidousan added, "Rlov you..."

Ohhh... That helped. He was the kind of person that associated words with how much someone loved or hated him, maybe, and so when Erin snapped at him it was like a flag saying "I don't like you anymore". Even though Erin could never really think of it that way, not for her personally. "Aidousan... I don't have sisters or brothers, but I've heard people say sisters can say a lot of things to annoy and upset their brothers, but that doesn't mean they quit loving their brothers. And I didn't mean to make you feel that way, Aidousan..." She sat back and sighed, looking at a crack in the cement beside her.

"It just kind of bothers me when people call themselves stupid like that... because it's not true, they're calling themselves stupid when they don't even know what that really means, and..." Another sigh. "About snapping at you on the internet... I dunno, I was just worried about Yukito and defensive and on edge and stuff, and took it out on you... sorry..."

[More than Music]

Kagayaki Aidou

"You... you like... my imouto, Saikochan. Littrl sisterl. Rlov you..."

After a while of silence, a silence which made him ready to cry again but he swallowed them down, Saikochan finally seemed to understand. "Aidousan... I don't have sisters or brothers, but I've heard people say sisters can say a lot of things to annoy and upset their brothers, but that doesn't mean they quit loving their brothers. And I didn't mean to make you feel that way, Aidousan..." she told him, and Kagayaki slowly showed her a sad smile.

"I sorry," he told her, his voice still weak from the tears. "I done bad job of been you niisan, big broter." He hid his face in her shoulder. "Will try harder, yeah."

"It just kind of bothers me when people call themselves stupid like that... because it's not true, they're calling themselves stupid when they don't even know what that really means, and..." she sighed, and Kagayaki looked up at her.

'I know what stupid means, imouto. It means you can't think for yourself, you can't learn like normal people, you can't read signs in your own language. It means you aren't as smart as everyone else or smart at all. It means you sit on your bed and look at your homework, crying, because you can't read a word of it. It means you sit at the computer, eyes stinging, trying to make out a few words that your friend sent you when they need you most, but... you can't. You have to ask for help. It means you can't do it by yourself, as much as you want to.'

'Yeah, I know what stupid means, imouto. I really do.'

"About snapping at you on the internet... I dunno, I was just worried about Yukito and defensive and on edge and stuff, and took it out on you... sorry..." she continued, and Kagayaki looked down.

How could he tell her that Yukitokun and him just didn't talk about stuff like that? They preferred to just acknowledge it with a slight 'un' - which was like the Japanese version of 'mm-hm' - and move on. They didn't deal with issues if they didn't have to.

And she had made him feel like a bad friend for something that him and Yukitokun had done for years, both of them to each other.

"I... I no can...helped." he managed, taking a deep and shaky breath then slowly letting it out. "Saikochan, please try... try uns-s-sand." He leaned back and took her hands in his but did not meet her eyes. "I... I try... helped Yu-k-k-itok-kun... he... he no wants me helped wit tat. We... we no do-done. Tat. Uns...unsand?"

'I don't think you can understand all we've been through together. But I know you want to, and I know you'll really try. I know because you're like my family, and I can trust you. Even if I don't want to let go of my pain. Because, when I do, I hurt you. And that's how I know you love me too.'

"Imouto..." he began in a whisper, making a point to not meet her eyes. "You... you... you is... okay, wit... me... love... Cassiechan?" He spoke these words very, very carefully. Kagayaki didn't want to mess this up. He needed her support, because his own strength was crumbling with every move he made. "I... I do... Love her." The way he said the word 'love' was obviously practiced; he had made himself say it over and over again until he could say it clearly. How he was 'suppose to'.

But the term 'suppose to' brought back Erinchan's harsh voice in his head: "He's supposed to be your best friend!"

'What can I do better? Just tell me, I'll try it. I... I just want to help.'

[The Phantom of Paris]

Cassandra "Cassie" Wright

This can't be the end. It can't. I'm not going to let this happen, I'm not. Cassie repeated this like a mantra as she drove over to Erin and Yukito's apartment complex, trying to be strong and not let the tears threatening to spill from her eyes fall. She knew this would be where he went when she had discovered Kagayaki and all his things vanished from his room, and she could only hope she wouldn't be too late.

I can't let things end this way. He can't leave. And he can't hate Erin for whatever she said...I can't let this family fall apart, I can't! I told him it was like we're all balanced on a tightrope and if anyone moved the wrong way we'd all come falling down, but...maybe if we move the right way, we can fix things. We need to fix things, because I won't ever be able to live with myself if I just stand by and watch everything we've worked so hard for fall apart...not when things are starting to finally look up. I can't let this happen.

She stopped short when she neared the landing for Erin and Yukito's respective apartments, not quite comprehending what she saw there. The words she heard, however, were unmistakable, as a very familiar voice said, "Rlov you..."

Her gasp of shock was so quiet she herself didn't hear it, and she couldn't fight the hot tears of anger that cascaded down her cheeks. No, no, you love me, that's what you said! You told me so! I don't understand, how could you do this to me, Erin, you're my best friend, and he said he loved me! He loves me! I can't believe this...he said he loved me! Pick me! Choose me! Love me!

"Aidousan... I don't have sisters or brothers, but I've heard people say sisters can say a lot of things to annoy and upset their brothers, but that doesn't mean they quit loving their brothers." Cassie froze, her tears slowing as she tried to understand. It's true, she thought to herself, thinking of Shelby and Jake. It's absolutely true. But why is she saying that? I... And I didn't mean to make you feel that way, Aidousan..."

"I sorry. I done bad job of been you niisan, big broter. Will try harder, yeah." "Oh..." Cassie's face softened as she understood, and she continued to watch them, out of sight. We are really one big family, aren't we? That's the way it has to be. I won't ever let it be any different.

"It just kind of bothers me when people call themselves stupid like that... because it's not true, they're calling themselves stupid when they don't even know what that really means, and...About snapping at you on the internet... I dunno, I was just worried about Yukito and defensive and on edge and stuff, and took it out on you... sorry..." Cassie sighed. Neither of you are stupid. I don't know what to do to make you believe that, but it's true. You aren't. You're two of the smartest people I know...the only stupid thing about either of you is that you wouldn't believe me if I told you that was what I think. But it's so true, no matter what you choose to believe about yourselves.

"Imouto..." came Kagayaki's voice, interrupting Cassie's thoughts. "You... you... you is... okay, wit... me... love... Cassiechan? I... I do... Love her."

Cassie couldn't take it anymore. Her heart swelled with emotion as more tears spilled down her face. "Please don't leave," she whispered, alerting them to her presence at last. "You can't. You can't leave."

Can't you see I need you? Can't you see that you're the only thing holding me together, and I'll fall apart if you leave me?