Apt. #634B - The Makis' House

[Elda Forever]

The Maki's apartment is simplistic and - to Yukito and his mother - very comfortable. They live together on the second story, in apartment 634B, and haven't been living there long enough to know the neighbors very well. The floors are covered in a thick carpet, but you can only see it just within the doorway, the rest of the floor covered in Japanese floor mats, called tatami mats. A short table is laid in the center of the room, and the heavy curtains over the large windows overlooking the table have been replaced with a sheer white material, to allow more light. The entire room emanates a calm and simple atmosphere.

Yukito's mother has a similarly decorated room to the right, and Yukito's room is just off of the kitchen. Yukito being a very unique decorator in comparison to his mother's traditional style, the door is often closed(and sometimes locked). Yukito has hung up posters of many bands on every inch of space on his walls that he can, his laptop sitting on a short, wooden desk with papers strewn carelessly about. An electric bass leans against the edge of the unmade futon bed, the amp being currently used as a bedside table.

[Elda Forever]

OOC: This is for Kagayaki/Yukito plottings. BIC:

Yukito Maki

Light started spilling through the windows of the apartment, but Yukito didn't notice. He was sitting on the kitchen counter, crouched with his knees up to his chest, staring blankly. There was a metal bowl in front of him, and it was full of ashes. Right behind him he had a thick pile of newspapers and bits of cardboard, and in his hands was a lighter. With a dull look in his eyes, and barely moving, he slipped another piece of paper into the bottom of the bowl, set it alight, and watched it catch and fizzle away into nothing but a burning slip of black. He'd been there since he had left Erin's house, unable to make a sound or even think of sleeping. Well, he had thought of sleeping, but then he'd remember that he hadn't taken Erin's camera back after all, even though he had totally meant to give it to her, and then everything replayed in his mind like a dumb movie and he found himself wishing again.

So he did what he had always done when things got depressing and way too complicated to handle. What he did when he had done all he could think of in his control. He burned things.

At 6:08 his mother came in, and he dreaded her questions. She probed and pleaded with him to at least tell her he was okay, to explain what he was doing on the counter and to stop being so ridiculous, that it was just a party. But no response. With a roll of her eyes and an exasperated sigh, she prepared for work, unable to deal with her son. Just before she left she tried to give him a kiss on the cheek, only to get her only response signaling life - he cowered away from her. "I'll see you tonight," she murmured, rushing out the door.

9:15, and he had run out of paper. So he went to his room and found some of his old lyrics. They'd work the same. Mechanically he went back to the counter, slid on top, and continued. His stomach growled, but he ignored it. He needed to not think for awhile.

3:45 pm. He'd heard the phone ring several times, but didn't care who it was. He wanted to scream at it when it kept ringing, but instead he placed his last History report into the flames, drawing out the helpful glimmer as it burned away. He liked to stare at the centermost part of the fire, where it started to go black, and hurt your eyes to look. It helped him zone out, it calmed him. His passive expression was unchanged when a knock came at the door, and the person outside found it unlocked. A hesitation, then the visitor entered.

[More than Music]

OOC: Warning to all peoples who like Kagayaki's happiness... he won't have any here. Sry.
BIC:

Kagayaki Aidou

He couldn't stand it anymore. Ever since he'd left Yukitokun's house yesterday, this thick cloud of regret at clouded over him. Kagayaki felt like it was his fault. Like there was something he could have done differently, so maybe his friends wouldn't have been so upset.

Slowly going up to the door, he gently knocked on it. "Yukitokun..." he called. No reply. He knocked again, a little harder. "Yukitokun." He pulled out his cellphone from his backpocket and tried to read what time it said. It was some time after three in the afternoon. Anyway, he hadn't seen his friend at the school this morning. Why wasn't Yukitokun answering? Was he still upset?

Kagayaki's face darkened, a look that had crossed it far too many times that day. And, of all days for it to happen, he'd been in pain all day. This is one of the most miserable days he'd had in a long time.

Next to the day of the crash, and the day that Yumi and him had split up, were the only ones that surpassed this.

That meant it was horrible.

So he wasn't going to let Yukito just not open the door. He knocked again. Then he sighed and jiggled the handle. Maybe Makisan had left it unlocked....

To his surprise, the door swung open, and he slowly went in. "Yukitokun, eto...."

He saw Yukitokun, sitting on the counter like the anime character from DeathNote called 'L', crouched over a bowl. A lighter was in one of his hands. Kagayaki felt his eyes widen to the point of pain.

"YUYUKUN!" he cried, slamming the door and slowly coming to his friend's side. "Nani? Daijobu dayo? Byoki dayo? Yuyukun!" Kagayaki took hold of Yukitokun's arm. "Don't do tas! You getted burned!"

[Elda Forever]

Yukito Maki

He didn't hear anything until an all-too-familiar voice burst through, riddled with concern and unbridled fear.

"YUYUKUN! Nani? Daijobu dayo? Byoki dayo? Yuyukun!" Aidousan's hand gripped at his arm, "Don't do tas! You getted burned!"

"LET GO OF ME." Yukito exploded in response, shoving back the hand on his arm. His face twisted into a snarl. "I don't need you." He tossed the flaming paper he'd been holding in his hand into the bowl, and glared at it, furious that his task had been interrupted. "I don't need anybody. I can't." The tears stung his eyes again, and he focused his gaze on Aidousan to distract himself from crying. "And I especially don't need you to try and screw things up more." He was being ridiculous and immature, he knew. But he'd had too much time to not think. Another paper went into the bowl. "I went to Erin's house this morning. It's over now. She probably won't call. So you can go over and comfort her, now." he snarled bitterly. Why did his friend always try and avoid the point? Why didn't he talk to Yukito about Yumi? Why did he always try and fix Yukito's problems like he had nothing better to do?

After Aidousan had graduated, he always waited outside the school. And Yukito knew it wasn't for the rest of the band - it was for Yukito. He wanted to hang out with Yukito. To make him feel better. Well, Yukito couldn't pretend to smile for him today, and he didn't have the strength today to argue him into speaking his own mind. Aidousan clung to Yukito's side like a leech, but then he took the side of whomever challenged Yukito. He's such a hypocrite.

[More than Music]

Kagayaki Aidou

Yukitokun didn't react well when Kagayaki rushed in.

"LET GO OF ME." he cried, shoving the older boy away. Kagayaki looked at his friend with complete shock as he saw an expression of great anger looking at him. "I don't need you." Yukitokun lit a paper and let it fall into the bowl. Kagayaki didn't understand. "I don't need anybody. I can't." He could barely contain himself as he saw Yukitokun meet his eyes with a glare. "And I especially don't need you to try and screw things up more." Another paper caught fire and fell into the bowl unceremoniously, and Kagayaki fought to not let his expression change.

"Wha-wha-wha...."

"I went to Erin's house this morning. It's over now. She probably won't call. So you can go over and comfort her, now."

Kagayaki came back over to Yukitokun, and watched the paper slowly crumble with the heat and pressure of the flames. His face twisted into a frown. He was done. He was done just letting Yukitokun do this to him and everyone around him.

No more of this.

Thrusting his hand at the edge of the bowl, Kagayaki let the ashes fall all over the floor and the counter, polluting the air between them as an intense look came onto his face. "Yukito. You're not the only person who hurts. You think I don't hurt? You think I haven't been hurt by other people? Don't blame me because you have lost the person you love, because the person I love can't love me. Saikochan loves you. Yumi loves you. I hate myself and my birthday because I went and talked to my friend." He slammed his fist on the counter.

"What MORE do you WANT from me?!?"

[Elda Forever]

Yukito Maki

Yukito jumped nearly a foot into the air when Aidousan slammed the bowl to the floor, spreading the ashes everywhere. Everything about this move went against the way Aidousan acted - like all was okay, like he couldn't bear to make a mess or be in anybody's way, in anybody's face... Yukito stared at him, having a hard time keeping an angry expression, because the shock wanted to display itself.

Aidousan looked angry. At him. No one else. And he was going to tell him. "Yukito. You're not the only person who hurts. You think I don't hurt? You think I haven't been hurt by other people? Don't blame me because you have lost the person you love, because the person I love can't love me. Saikochan loves you. Yumi loves you. I hate myself and my birthday because I went and talked to my friend." There was no characteristic stutter here. Aidousan's Japanese slipped out in a rush of determination and there was no hesitancy. His friend slammed his fist on the counter.

"What MORE do you WANT from me?!?"

Yukito slipped off the counter, staring at Kagayaki from under the messy locks in his eyes. "I want you to stand up for yourself and deal with your own issues, and stop getting into mine!" Then, what Aidousan said hit him. Yumi doesn't love me. Yumi was depressed because of me. She was happier with Aidousan. His snarl returned. "They don't love me, Aidousan. How can they love me when I mess everything up?!" He leapt forward and shoved Aidousan back for emphasis. "How come you're the only one that won't go away? How come you're the one who always tries to make me happy, when you're never happy?"

[More than Music]

OOC: His thoughts are also in Japanese.
BIC:

Kagayaki Aidou

"Yukito. You're not the only person who hurts. You think I don't hurt? You think I haven't been hurt by other people? Don't blame me because you have lost the person you love, because the person I love can't love me. Saikochan loves you. Yumi loves you. I hate myself and my birthday because I went and talked to my friend."

He gave himself no time to really think about his words, or regret them, as he slammed his fist pointedly on the counter next to Yukito.

"What MORE do you WANT from me?!?"

Yukito came down off the counter, and Kagayaki tried not to let his resolve fade now. He had to let this out. He had to tell Yukito how he was feeling.

He owed him that much; to show his feelings. What had been building up inside of him ever since Yukito had left Japan. And that was quite a long time to both of them, he knew it.

"I want you to stand up for yourself and deal with your own issues, and stop getting into mine!" he said, and Kagayaki saw a very angry look come back onto Yukitokun's face. "They don't love me, Aidousan. How can they love me when I mess everything up?!" Kagayaki was completely winded as he felt himself being thrown backwards by Yukito shoving him. He looked at his friend with hurt and anger in his eyes. "How come you're the only one that won't go away? How come you're the one who always tries to make me happy, when you're never happy?"

Kagayaki bit the inside of his lip hard, and made sure his tears didn't show. "WHY do you think I'm never happy, Yukitokun?" he demanded, standing tall once more. "Do you think I WANT to always be around people who I'm never good enough for? Stop acting like, when you actually DO talk about what's important, everyone's going to take what you say and not fight back!"

All the anger swelled up in him, and he hated himself for it. That made it worse. Looking into Yukitokun's eyes in a way he never had before, Kagayaki felt his body jolt forwards. His good fist met the side of Yukito's face.

"STOP feeling sorry for yourself and start actually FIXING something for YOURSELF! Your mother and I keep TRYING to show you that you're WORTH IT, why won't you listen? Why do you have such hard time LISTENING to the people who love you, huh?" He grabbed Yukito's shoulder as tears clouded his eyes. "I came here so you wouldn't give up on Erin like you did Yumi, leaving her behind, hoping you would run back to her and say you still loved her. I know now, that no one can love you unless you let OUT your anger. I know I'm hopeless, Yukitokun. But YOU are NOT."


'Hit me back, Yukitokun, please,' his eyes pleaded. 'Please, you need this, and I need you to stop making me worry about you. Show me you can fend for yourself, for once in your life, let me leave this place knowing that I'm the only one who no one hopes for anymore. Let me be the bad guy. It's okay.'

[Elda Forever]

Yukito Maki

"How come you're the only one that won't go away? How come you're the one who always tries to make me happy, when you're never happy?"

Aidousan seemed confused as to what to say to this, how to respond, but he didn't stop. They were gonna go for more. "WHY do you think I'm never happy, Yukitokun?" Yukito didn't answer this one. He didn't really know why. They'd had some hints they used to give each other the few times they talked seriously, but nothing concrete. No real story. No owning up to it. "Do you think I WANT to always be around people who I'm never good enough for? Stop acting like, when you actually DO talk about what's important, everyone's going to take what you say and not fight back!"

He frowned, "Of COURSE I expect people to fight back! I don't understand why YOU don't! If you would just -" His words were cut off by the most unexpected thing Aidousan could have ever done. He punched Yukito, sending the already small and thin boy flying backwards, where he landed on the floor.

"STOP feeling sorry for yourself and start actually FIXING something for YOURSELF! Your mother and I keep TRYING to show you that you're WORTH IT, why won't you listen? Why do you have such hard time LISTENING to the people who love you, huh?" He grabbed Yukito's shoulder, but Yukito didn't look up from where he'd been staring coldly off into the distance, in his mind repeating like a prayer. I'm not worth it. I'm not worth it. Why don't they leave me alone, because I'm not worth it. "I came here so you wouldn't give up on Erin like you did Yumi, leaving her behind, hoping you would run back to her and say you still loved her. I know now, that no one can love you unless you let OUT your anger. I know I'm hopeless, Yukitokun. But YOU are NOT."

Yukito turned to stare up at Aidousan. What?! Hoping I'd run back to her?! He brushed aside this and stood up, fists clenched. "And what about you, Aidousan? Are you just gonna try and make me all better again, then slip off because you've done your good deed? Don't mess with me." A pause, and Yukito was surprised to taste blood in his mouth from his friend's blow. "I said don't mess with me! I'm not a little kid anymore!" It was his turn to slam his fist into Aidousan's face. "I don't need someone to call me out from under the table and lie to me and tell me it's all gonna be okay." He shoved Aidousan up against the wall and hissed at him, no longer seeing his friend's face but another, one that looked too much like his own, or an older mirror image of himself. "I'm sick of being okay. I'm going to be alone, and I'm going to make music, and nothing else. And I'm going to be the best. I'm going to be great at it, even if I'm alone. Because I don't need to get drunk and toss someone smaller than me around to make me feel like a man."

[More than Music]

Kagayaki Aidou

This was escalating in a way that Kagayaki couldn't predict, and he hoped it wouldn't get much worse, but he couldn't stop it. It was like his anger had formed a person. The person he really was inside. And that horrible, heartless, heedless person had taken hold of him, and he didn't like it one bit.

Yukito met his eyes. "And what about you, Aidousan? Are you just gonna try and make me all better again, then slip off because you've done your good deed? Don't mess with me." Yukito said, and Kagayaki said nothing in reply. He couldn't believe that his friend thought this of him, but his anger melted a bit as he saw blood.

He'd never wanted to hurt Yukito. That had been the last thing on his mind when he'd come here. Kagayaki had only wanted to help. It hadn't been for himself. Or for anyone but Yukito and Erin. He'd wanted to help someone else be happy, even if he was hardly honestly happy himself.

But Yukito was right... he was so right, it was hard to tell what part of it was anger and which was the truth. Kagayaki found himself just believing everything Yukito said. But he didn't back away.

"I said don't mess with me! I'm not a little kid anymore!"

Kagayaki felt Yukito punch him, perhaps a bit harder than he had done to his friend. He deserved it. He'd started the fight. But having someone hit him was perhaps the worst thing he'd ever experienced.

Only this time, it was from someone he trusted more than anyone else.

"I don't need someone to call me out from under the table and lie to me and tell me it's all gonna be okay." Yukito said, slamming him against the wall with a friction that dislodged whatever had been fueling Kagayaki's anger. It reminded him of Takeshi. Matsumoto Takeshi. And that was someone he didn't want to remember. The older boy fell nearly limp to the grip that held him, and his eyes grew distant. But he still heard every word that was said. "I'm sick of being okay. I'm going to be alone, and I'm going to make music, and nothing else. And I'm going to be the best. I'm going to be great at it, even if I'm alone. Because I don't need to get drunk and toss someone smaller than me around to make me feel like a man."

Kagayaki, with an expression no brighter, swallowed. “You won't be any better. Isn't it that every good musician is a lonely man who has given up on love because he was too much of a coward to love?” He met Yukito's eyes. “The only way to be different is to not follow the example he's set for you.”

[Elda Forever]

Yukito Maki

Strange as it was, Yukito felt better knowing that Aidousan had hit him. That he'd fought back and not taken a backwards stance in a fight they never wanted, but always needed. He was glad Aidousan's words cut deep, hollow as his friend's voice sounded as Yukito held him roughly against the wall. “You won't be any better. Isn't it that every good musician is a lonely man who has given up on love because he was too much of a coward to love?”

Their eyes met, and Yukito felt his breath stop altogether. “The only way to be different is to not follow the example he's set for you.”

He couldn't respond to that except to hold on tighter to Aidousan, as if he let go everything would fall away into little pieces that no one could put together again...much less either of them. They were too broken to be fixed, weren't they? He couldn't even lie and say he was nothing like his father. Because every time he looked in the mirror he saw his father's face. Every time he looked at his guitar he remembered playing for his dad before anyone else.

With a strangled voice, hoarser now from when he'd talked so weakly to Erin, he hissed, “At least your dad was enough of a sleaze to run off and never look back. At least he's not with your mom now, stealing the only person you have left in the world from you with a smile.” he shook Aidousan roughly, “At least your dad won't come back for you.”

[More than Music]

Kagayaki Aidou

He felt Yukito hold him tighter, and it made Kagayaki wince. He wasn't as strong as he pretended to be; no where near. Even he knew his limits. He just didn't often listen to his body when it was screaming that it couldn't go anymore. Right now, he wished he had. He wished he'd been a better person.

Then, maybe, Yukito would have seen what he was trying to say.

“At least your dad was enough of a sleaze to run off and never look back. At least he's not with your mom now, stealing the only person you have left in the world from you with a smile.” These words cut into Kagayaki deeper than he knew his friend understood they did, and he felt himself shaken for emphasis. “At least your dad won't come back for you.”

Kagayaki bit his tongue for a few moments, trying to keep under control.

There weren't many things that pissed him off. But his dad was one of them, and he didn't want anyone to know that his father was home. No one. But... he couldn't stay calm as Yukito verbally assaulted him, like he didn't understand how hard it was to know that the only person he hated most, and couldn't stand, was home again and taking away the one person who had always been there for him.

It was a future he'd thought impossible, and he had come here, half-expecting his father to run when he did. But no. Hideosan was still there, and he didn't seem to want to shift away from Kagayaki's closest friend and confidant.

And the worse part was: there was nothing Kagayaki could do to win her heart again. His mother was gone.

With one fist, powered by all the anger he'd pent up about his father – which he remembered the last time this anger had been touched; when he had nearly committed suicide by jumping into his mother's car and driving blindly into a brick wall – he hit Yukito right in the face, as hard as he could.

It was not the kind of blow that a kid served, in all their anger, that the victim only laughed at.

This had become very serious, and Kagayaki knew that he couldn't take it back.

He could only hope that Yukito could forgive him. Or at least forget.

Once free of his friend's hold, he hunched over the younger boy with wide, angry eyes. “YOU THINK, you REALLY THINK I don't KNOW, DON'T YOU?!? I KNOW how it FEELS now, so SHUT the HELL UP!” he cried, his breath heavy, because his lungs weren't prepared – nor strong enough to handle – this sudden rage. “He's HOME NOW!” He fell to his knees, burying his face in his hands as he began to cry. “Are you happy? I'm just as screwed as you. I don't want to be home anymore than you. ”

[Elda Forever]

Yukito Maki

After the harsh words left him, Yukito found himself regretting them. Each time they echoed in his head, he realized how different they were from how he really felt. It was like some poser was using his mouth to cut at his friend. He laxed from his offensive position, releasing Aidousan slowly, his eyes widening as he tried to find the strength to apologize.

And it was lucky he'd calmed down a bit, because if he'd been prepared at all when Aidousan's fist came slamming into his face, it could have done worse than the seering pain and sending him flying across the room to slam into the cabinets. His hands shot back to catch himself and he heard a loud thud when his hand made contact with something hard and cold.

Yukito looked up through blurry vision at his friend, who was steaming with fury and rambling on, even though Yukito could barely see him through the dizziness, the words cut through crystal clear. His mind, though, his reactions, were stilled in time, blank. Empty. “YOU THINK, you REALLY THINK I don't KNOW, DON'T YOU?!? I KNOW how it FEELS now, so SHUT the HELL UP!”

Yukito blinked hard, feeling all too much like a child with his disoriented feelings, but unable to react any differently. He was so tired...of all of this. He barely registered the wheezing gasps that came from Aidousan. “He's HOME NOW!” Aidousan fell to his knees, burying his face in his hands as he began to cry. “Are you happy? I'm just as screwed as you. I don't want to be home anymore than you. ”

Yukito didn't say anything for a long time, staring over at Aidousan while still sprawled across the kitchen floor. "You didn't tell me." he murmured. A long moment of silence hung with the tension of the room pulsing like a loud heartbeat thrumming in his ears. With a groan he shifted, then looked up to meet his friend's gaze, his hair into his face and stinging his eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry it had to be this way. And I don't know how to fix it. Any of it. I can't pretend to be happy, Aidousan." He wouldn't dare say it aloud, but to know that his friend was in the same boat as him, that they were both as unlucky in families, made him feel a little better. At least he wasn't alone in it all.

He worked his jaw, then gingerly touched his cheek where Aidousan had made impact. He felt it swelling, and his head ached. "Man, you hit pretty hard..." he managed to mutter.

[More than Music]

OOC: This post got "Like That" by 3 Doors Down stuck in my head. If you know the song, you'll know why.
BIC:

Kagayaki Aidou

“Are you happy? I'm just as screwed as you. I don't want to be home anymore than you.”

Yukitokun was quiet for a while, and Kagayaki didn't have the heart to look up at his friend.

Were they still friends? Could Yukitokun possibly still want to be friends with him, after all of this? Surely, no one would accept him if they all saw him like this. He'd thought his mother the only one, but even she couldn't handle him when he was upset.

But... he didn't know what he'd do if Yukitokun didn't want to be his friend.

"You didn't tell me."

Kagayaki finally looked up, eyes filled with tears, and winced a bit at how Yukitokun's face was already swelling as he sat there, still in the position the older boy had thrown him into. He couldn't say anything in reply, even as Yukitokun moved a bit, staring into Kagayaki's eyes in a way he really wasn't used to.

People never met his eyes. It just wasn't done. At all. He quivered a bit under the pressure of his friend's heavy gaze.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry it had to be this way. And I don't know how to fix it. Any of it. I can't pretend to be happy, Aidousan." he finished, and Kagayaki shook his head, tears still slipping down his face.

"I have to pretend, Yukitokun. It's how I live." He smiled ironically. "If I don't act happy when I'm not, then I'll never be happy." He turned away from Yukitokun's gaze. "You don't understand. Everyone wants to be your friend. Everyone wants to see what you're hiding. It's not that easy for me. No one would want to be my friend, unless they felt sorry for me, if I wasn't happy like I am." Half-looking at his friend again, he sighed. "I'm not like you."

Yukitokun moved his jaw a bit as if it were very sore - and Kagayaki knew it must be, but it still brought a slight smile to his face as his friend touched the sensitive area. "Man, you hit pretty hard..." he muttered.

Kagayaki laughed half-heartedly. "I'm sorry. That punch was twelve years coming, and it was meant for my--" He caught himself, swallowing. "For Hideosan." Standing upright and laughing a bit at how stupid he had been acting, he extended a hand to Yukitokun. "Can you forgive me for being as much of a wreck as you are, if not as attracting?" He frowned a bit. "Really, Yuyukun... Yumi... she still loves you. Saikochan loves you. Every girl I've met so far here has thought you cool before this stunt you pulled with Saikochan." He wiped away tears before they came back.

"Why can't I be like that?"

[Elda Forever]

Yukito Maki

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry it had to be this way. And I don't know how to fix it. Any of it. I can't pretend to be happy, Aidousan."

The response he got was a slow shake of the head. "I have to pretend, Yukitokun. It's how I live." He smiled ironically. "If I don't act happy when I'm not, then I'll never be happy. You don't understand. Everyone wants to be your friend. Everyone wants to see what you're hiding. It's not that easy for me. No one would want to be my friend, unless they felt sorry for me, if I wasn't happy like I am." Yukito's eyes widened as Aidousan let out a weary sigh. "I'm not like you."

Yukito had to take a moment to think about this. He felt his wounds delicately, measuring the damage that had been done. What Aidousan said was not all new to him. He knew that sometimes people resented his silence while others were drawn to it. Everyone wanted to pry, wanted to figure him out. It was one of the things that kept Yumi interested, and it was the thing that pushed her away. What you're hiding. What would he be hiding? His fears, just like everyone else? His mistakes? His faults? What could there be about him that drew people to him? Yukito would never really understand it - he refused to even try. Besides, hadn't he proven this theory wrong at this school, where everyone hated him? "Man, you hit pretty hard..." he muttered.

Kagayaki laughed half-heartedly. "I'm sorry. That punch was twelve years coming, and it was meant for my--" Aidousan swallowed, a pained expression on his features. "For Hideosan." No other explanation was necessary. Not now.

Aidousan straightened and gave a little laugh, his usual sparkle returning to his eyes, where it belonged. Where it had always belonged. "Can you forgive me for being as much of a wreck as you are, if not as attracting?"

Yukito smirked, then took his friend's hand as he pushed painfully off the kitchen floor. "If I didn't forgive you, I could never forgive myself." he stated simply. "And I have to disagree with you - nobody here wants me as their friend, Aidousan. I'm too cruel to my old friends to deserve any new ones."

Aidousan frowned a bit. "Really, Yuyukun... Yumi... she still loves you. Saikochan loves you. Every girl I've met so far here has thought you cool before this stunt you pulled with Saikochan." Aidousan wiped at his eyes, "Why can't I be like that?"

"Are you sure they weren't being sarcastic?" Yukito's smirk didn't falter. "And like I said...Yumi has wreckage of her own. People are drawn to you, too, Aidousan. They want a piece of what you have, because they want to feel as happy as you seem." He looked at the ground. "I always wanted a piece of it, until I realized you were never really happy...it was a mask you wore."

[More than Music]

Kagayaki Aidou

"Can you forgive me for being as much of a wreck as you are, if not as attracting?"

Yukitokun smiled a bit, in his signature way, which made Kagayaki feel a bit better. "If I didn't forgive you, I could never forgive myself. And I have to disagree with you - nobody here wants me as their friend, Aidousan. I'm too cruel to my old friends to deserve any new ones."

Kagayaki let a few twitch at the edge of his mouth again. He didn't believe it. He couldn't believe that anyone wouldn't want to be Yukitokun's friend. And, no matter what he did to his friends, he always found a way to make it up to them. It always made sense to him. "Really, Yuyukun... Yumi... she still loves you. Saikochan loves you. Every girl I've met so far here has thought you cool before this stunt you pulled with Saikochan." he said, wiping away his tears as they tried to show themselves again. He wouldn't let them, even though his idea that Yukitokun wouldn't be able to see him cry. Kagayaki still didn't think it was a good idea to go into another fit. "Why can't I be like that?"

"Are you sure they weren't being sarcastic?" Yukito said, and Kagayaki looked at him sideways.

"Yes." He couldn't think that anyone would have not been speaking the truth to him. It'd never crossed his mind.

"And like I said...Yumi has wreckage of her own. People are drawn to you, too, Aidousan. They want a piece of what you have, because they want to feel as happy as you seem."

Kagayaki shook his head. "No they don't. It costs too much."

"I always wanted a piece of it, until I realized you were never really happy...it was a mask you wore."

He looked at Yukitokun with eyes filled of wonder. "You wanted to like me, once?" he asked in a whisper, incredulous. "Yuyukun, no one has ever looked up to me before." He half-laughed. "And I think you know why." He sighed, shaking his head. "I guess your idea of me is gone, yah? Now you know; being like me is a curse. Being happy like me is a curse. But... I can't help it. I told you. It's how I live."