Seeing Red

[More than Music]

Raiu Wahei

'Tori Amos... Kate Voegele... Savage Garden... The Cranberries... Hm, and maybe some Michael Crawford or something. Andrea Bocelli too, if I can find something I don't already have.'

Raiu slipped into the music store and took a quick look around. It had been a while since he'd been in, and he was hoping to find something new, as well as the few artist names he had in mind. One hand in his pocket, one hand playing with a rebellious strand of hair, Raiu thought about whether to browse or look for his choice artists first. He bit his lip and slowly pulled it along his teeth thoughtfully.

He shrugged, deciding to just browse around. Maybe that hot girl would be working here today. He'd kind of taking a liking to her, but found himself comparing her to Juliet for some reason. Which reminded him... he hadn't heard from the Captain lately. He made a mental note to call her once he was done here. Maybe he could convince her to come over again.

Glancing over to check for the girl, he saw a young man he didn't recognize instead. He'd been here plenty of times, and knew that guy hadn't been working here when he used to visit often. 'Must be new,' he thought, not dwelling on it too much. 'He looks Asian too. Cool.'

The guy went over and started talking to a customer, who was obviously someone he knew. A tiny, barely noticeable, knowing smile came onto Raiu's face. 'That doesn't sound good.' Raiu went back to get his CDs, and got most of them. He was wandering by some Tori Amos and debating whether to get two or just one of them. He'd listen to them all, definitely, but... then he wouldn't have a reason to come back soon. Hm.

After a while, the guys stopped talking because a young lady ran up to the Asian guy. Obviously, working guy's hot girlfriend. 'Sweet.' But their conversation was cut short by some rudeness from working guy. 'Oh, bad.' Raiu kept quiet, staring at the back of Tori Amos' "God" CD. It was one of his favorites. Especially the Cherokee version of "Home on the Range". Dark, but beautiful. Tori Amos had a way with words and music. Maybe he'd get it for Captain, like, as a surprise or something. Maybe she'd like that. Yeah, she probably would, even if just for the thought of it.

He decided to get the CD for Juliet and just one of the two he didn't have, and went up the counter, staring over at the Asian teen who was busy on his cellphone. The smile came back but was still incredibly small. He rose an eyebrow and tapped the counter a little. "I think she'll get used to it," he said, a little offhandedly. He was buying a CD for Captain, and was feeling offhanded right now, just a bit. Taking out his wallet, he widened his smile some to show he was trying to be friendly. "She looks like she really likes you. Kind of a rare thing, from what I've seen, especially in really pretty girls. You must be lucky."

'I hope I'm as lucky as you. I have a really good feeling about Juliet. I just do. Maybe I'll get lucky too.'

[Elda Forever]

Yukito Maki

Moment after Erin left, the entire place felt a lot quieter than it had been before. A guy came up to the front desk, setting a CD down and tapping on the counter lightly to get his attention. Yukito looked up from his cellphone, slipping it into his pocket and trying to offer a forced smile. "This all for you, then?" he asked as pleasantly as he could.

"I think she'll get used to it," the guy said. Yukito looked at him in surprise. Someone likes to listen in on other people's conversations. Creepy. As if to cement the awkward in the situation, the guy's smile widened. "She looks like she really likes you. Kind of a rare thing, from what I've seen, especially in really pretty girls. You must be lucky."

Yukito arched an eyebrow at the guy, slowly reaching over to take the CD and ring it through. The solitary beep served as his only comment to the situation. This guy was quickly starting to weird him out. Especially with that smile and the wanna-be innocent expression.

He told the guy his total, saying it almost as a question and holding the bag out for him. As he accepted the pay, he sent the guy a dubious look, "Thanks, I guess..."

[GGJ5]

Erin Spenser

She'd spent the majority of the day wandering around the market center, oftentimes popping back into the music store to see Yukito. If he was busy, though, Erin had to leave or stand and wait to get his attention, but sometimes she caught him when he was free and they could hang out and talk and be together. It was just that she was so sick of being home alone all the time now. She still had no license (when she had gone to take the written test, she hadn't scored high enough even though her actual driving was fine, and Erin was still inwardly loathing a repeat incident), but even if she did have one, Erin had no car. And Yukito needed his for work. The only places she could go were places she could walk to, and when she could bum rides from friends. When they weren't in school. And honestly, she was missing that, too. She missed all the people, all her friends, all the stupid little drama that went on, even. Making fun of the goofs the principal made during the announcements, seeing how many texts and notes she could sneak to friends before a teacher noticed, turning in her work half-doodled, having something to do all day, and being around so many... she missed it. A lot, and more than she was ready to admit to Yukito. Not after how she fought to be free of it.

And, to Erin's own surprise, she missed seeing her dad at school. She missed her parents. She couldn't remember the last time she'd seen them, except for the hospital thing. She'd talked to them loads on the phone (and gotten into lots of awkward conversations with them too), but it wasn't the same... Sometimes Erin still felt like such a little girl, not ready for all this. Not ready to grow up and be on her own.. She wanted her parents more.

Not that she wanted to leave Yukito, either... It had become one of her favorite things to fall to sleep next to him at night, to wake up to see him when he didn't have to leave early, to share meals with him, to share a home with him. She loved it, and she loved him. They felt closer now, albeit not as close as she wanted, but slowly they'd get there. They would. She saw the evidence, and she believed it would happen.

It was a strange, uncomfortable place for her to be, emotionally... and in a weird way, it made her want to be around Yukito more. To constantly remind herself that he loved her and wanted her there with him. That he'd asked for her to come, and that he'd even mentioned what their future might be like together. He'd thought of that, because he loved her. It was still so hard to fathom sometimes... she was still scared, deep inside, that something would come, some cannon into their house of cards would come and ruin the beautiful thing they were trying to make. She would do something, or someone else would step in, and spoil their love... it was a terrible, real thought that Erin preferred to keep buried as much as possible.

Erin distracted herself from these thoughts easily enough; when she wasn't stopping in to chat with Yukito, she window-shopped like crazy. It was a lot easier to window shop when you had no cash or card to waste buying all the cute, random, fun thins she saw. And she didn't mind just window shopping, as she'd been accustomed to long stretches with no allowance and having never held a job. But at the same time, Erin was imagining filling their home with all kinds of things, tools for the kitchen and decorations for the living room, and random items she found that served absolutely no purpose than to entertain her with their novelty.

Finally the time came close enough for Yukito's shift to end, and she traipsed back to the music store to find him. Inside the store, she waved excitedly to catch his attention, calling a stage-whispered "Hi!!" then ran over to him, wrapping Yukito in a hug. "Are you ready to go yet?" she asked, bouncing a little on the balls of her feet and clearly eager to leave the area she'd been wandering for what seemed forever. She took his hands in hers. "How can you stay here all day and not go totally freaking crazy?" she asked with a laugh.

[Elda Forever]

Yukito Maki

Yukito turned as Erin came into the shop, a little smile coming to his face when her eyes met his, and she started waving excitedly. "Hi!!" she said, in a sort of whisper that was loud enough for him to hear from the distance. He waved her over, and she ran to him, wrapping him in a tight hug that made him chuckle. "Are you ready to go yet?" she asked, bouncing a little.

He nodded, "Yeah, shift just ended. I'm free as a bird."

She took his hands in hers. He liked the gesture, simple as it was. It was like she couldn't stand another second without keeping him anchored to her. "How can you stay here all day and not go totally freaking crazy?" she asked with a laugh.

A shrug was his initial response, "I can't help but think it's a lot easier than most jobs I would have to do. At least here I'm around music all day." He smiled, "In speaking of which, do you mind if we take a couple more minutes, strange as it is, I'd like to buy something. It's been a long time since I had any money to just buy a new CD and.." he held up an envelope with a smile, "I just got a bonus for good behavior, I think, so we have a little breathing room now." He arched an eyebrow, "Though it's weird to purchase something from a store that pays your salary, isn't it?"

[GGJ5]

Erin Spenser

"Are you ready to go yet?" Erin asked, happily hugging him close.

Yukito nodded. "Yeah, shift just ended. I'm free as a bird."

Erin grinned at that, taking his hands in hers and glancing around his workplace. "How can you stay here all day and not go totally freaking crazy?" she asked with a laugh.

After a shrug, Yukito told her easily, "I can't help but think it's a lot easier than most jobs I would have to do. At least here I'm around music all day." His ease with working in a limited space all day, where so often it seemed too quiet to her own tastes, it all made her very proud of him. And that he was working for her, too. It made her more and more want to do something in return.

"In speaking of which," Yukito added, "Do you mind if we take a couple more minutes, strange as it is, I'd like to buy something." Erin gave a little nod and a quick, "Sure!" "It's been a long time since I had any money to just buy a new CD and.." He held up an envelope and smiled at her, Erin reflecting the expression. "I just got a bonus for good behavior, I think, so we have a little breathing room now." Briefly, Erin kissed his cheek. "Aw, yay, I'm so proud of you!"

"Though it's weird to purchase something from a store that pays your salary, isn't it?"

Erin shrugged. "I don't see it making a difference one way or another." She linked her arm in his and sent him a smile. "What were you thinking of?" After a moment, Erin halted again, and caught Yukito's eyes. "Hey, wait, you're totally off the clock, right?" she asked, more as a statement than a question, and pulled his face to hers with both hands, giving him a kiss, then smiled, silently laughing. "So I can do that." She replaced her arm in his, adding, "Okay, now you can go find whatever--what were you gonna get again?"

[Elda Forever]

Amane Ourmura

Things had gotten extremely painful.

After reading the comments on her website, saying in clear black and white what Erin and Yukito thought of her... infatuation.. Amane had actually cried. She had kept crying every time she thought of it, without able to hold back, for the following week. Her friends tried to comfort her but it all sounded stupid and shallow in comparison to how the simple words on her computer screen had cut her so deeply.

How pathetic had she become? Even after his words had torn through her bitterly, leaving her with chilling wounds that refused to lessen or waiver, she was still following him! She still hovered around, better now at keeping out of sight. I'm a sick masochist. That's all there is to it. I love him and I can't stop now. She knew their posts by heart, made under one of her recent updates with pictures of them - Yukito and Erin - at the Voodoo fest. Why couldn't it be her? Why couldn't she have been the one he held so close, so protectively, even when they were just walking down the street? Why couldn't she see him look at her the way he looked at Erin? Getting that picture of them had been nearly impossible to acquire. She'd ended up getting one of her friends to do it - she was on the site with her and had been happy to oblige - and took the camera from her as soon as possible to post the photo on the internet. At the time, the photo had made her smile - he looked so happy, so content with her, the makeup making them look different, but never unrecognizable. She could see their faces everywhere. If she hadn't, she would never have been able to forgive herself for making a stupid mistake like forgetting.

She knew the messages they'd posted by heart. They floated through the tears that blurred her vision.

'just fyi this whole sight is raely realyl freaky n u all need to lay off! y r u doin this anyway!?!? y cant u just leeve ppl alone@Q?!? esp if those ppl r us!!!! >.< --erin'

Reading that, she hadn't been as upset as worried. If Erin knew about the site, it was inevitable Yukito would. Erin could never keep a secret. She would blab her life to perfect strangers - she practically had. Amane knew. Because she'd seen it happen, time and again. She ran her mouth too much, and the jealousy in her flared up at the message. But what did she care? The site wasn't about her, anyways. If she wanted to dig into the fact that the internet was likely to post pictures without people's permission - she should know this, being in a band, however small and unsuccessful it was - then that would be her problem.

It was the next message that crumbled her vague hope.

'I dont know what you want from me but you have to stop because you arent getting it. leave me alone. i know you've trespassed and have been followin me. leave. us. alone. -Yukito'

Amane hung her head, hidden behind one of the stacks of CDs farther in the back of the store, where she had been watching him at work half the day. What I want from you!? How could you not know by now! I never asked you for anything, Yukito! I only wanted you to know my name! I only wanted to be close to you, to have you love me! Why did it all sound so pathetic now? Why had she not expected that sort of reaction from him?

Her friends had often asked her what she saw in him. Amane's answer was that she saw in him all the things she had wanted as long as she could remember. She hadn't had a bunch of boyfriends like her friends did. She didn't want a bunch. She'd been patient, and waited, and been as happy as she could alone. Amane had always felt alone, and the longer high school went on, the more alone she felt. Watching Yukito and Erin made her feel the most alone she had ever been. It was almost a tangible pain, as she waltzed carelessly in and threw her arms around him as if she owned him, asking him questions and getting the quiet answers she was looking for.

Why can I only watch? Why can't anyone ever hold me like that? How come she gets to have someone who will hold her when she cries, but I sit alone? Why? What's so special about her?

Amane buried her face in the CD racks, leaning down so that her hair covered most of her face just in case the tears in her eyes actually went about falling. Erin's loud voice only got louder to Amane, until she could actually hear their conversation.

"I don't see it making a difference one way or another." She was saying, "What were you thinking of?"

"Usually I'd try someone new I've never heard of, but I kind of want a good, older one. Isn't retro coming back anyways?" He sounded uncertain, and maybe a little sarcastic, their voices moving closer.

"Hey, wait, you're totally off the clock, right?" she asked suddenly.

Amane glanced up to see him nod, hands shoved into his jean pockets as he sent Erin a questioning look. With both hands Erin pulled his face closer, pressing her lips to his. Amane looked away as Yukito responded back, both of them laughing quietly as though they had gotten away with something secret or forbidden.

"So I can do that." she commented happily, "Okay, now you can go find whatever--what were you gonna get again?"

"I don't think I can remember now... Not after that." Yukito declared, teasing her. Amane felt a lump rise in her throat. She could hear his voice in her head, stony and chilling. He was telling her to leave them alone. Over and over again. She sniffed back a sob, reaching down to pull out a random CD. Madonna? Weird choice. She was about to put it back when she felt someone's gaze on her. Amane looked up to see Yukito and Erin had turned around a stack of CDs and spotted her. Eyes wide and still filled with tears, she looked up at Yukito, standing stiff and solemn only a few feet away from her.

I'm sorry, Yukito.

I'm sorry, but you just don't understand. How could you?

"I..." she started, finding her voice thin and weak. Furious with herself for almost crying as well as being caught - again - Amane tried to summon up her courage. Her voice a little less shaky, she tried to smile and failed. "I'm sorry if I made you angry, Yukito. I don't know what to do with myself anymore and..." Her eyes dropped to the CD rack. Of course, Yukito remained silent. Amane avoided their gaze, especially Erin's expression. Her eyes fell on the music CDs, and she felt the tears coming. They started to fall, even though she fought fiercely against them. When she spoke next, it was to Yukito alone, and the desperate tone raised her voice louder than she intended, "I only did it because I love you, Yukito!" Amane gasped for breath. It felt like she was suffocating. And he stood there, right in front of her, an unreadable expression in his eyes. Closed down. Distant. Too far for her to reach.

Just. Like. Always.

"You don't get it!" she cried, "I've loved you ever since I met you that day at school, with Tevin there. You looked up at me and you did that lame little attempt at a smile and tried to make stupid conversation with us. Then you vanished, like some sort of ghost, and I couldn't stop thinking about you. I love the way you try to hide but always fail at it. I love the way you sit so quietly at parties, and the way you smile, and the way you get so protective when you love someone. I love the cute little grins you always made at the cameras in all your elementary school pictures, and I love the way your voice sounds. I've always loved you, Yukito, but you never even knew my name!" Through her sobs, she gasped through her speech, then pointed accusingly at Erin, "What is she that I'm not? How come she deserves to be loved by you, when I could never even get you to be friends with me? How come I don't even get to love you from a distance? I had finally found something for me to do with myself on that site. I finally started to feel like i wasn't alone in my love for you, in my love for someone who never gave me a chance! And you just took that away from me! How could you? You don't even know me!" The tears blurred her vision of him, and she buried her face in her hands, "I'm just the boring girl who happened to share a school with you once. I don't mean anything to anybody. And I wanted to mean something to you."

[GGJ5]

Erin Spenser

"Hey, wait, you're totally off the clock, right?"

Yukito nodded, and Erin didn't hesitate as she pulled him to her in a kiss. "So I can do that," she explained happily, giving him a pixyish smile and taking her arm in his. "Okay, now you can go find whatever--what were you gonna get again?"

"I don't think I can remember now... Not after that," Yukito told her, making Erin laugh as she rolled her eyes. They strolled a few steps towards the back, where a bunch of random stacks stood, then her eyes fell on the presence back there, and she stopped, eyes widening at the sight.

She was still following them. Following him. How dare she?!

"What are you doing here?" Erin hissed icily.

"I... I'm sorry if I made you angry, Yukito. I don't know what to do with myself anymore and..."

"Maybe you should live your own life and quit idolizing everyone else's!" Erin snapped, keeping tight her hold on Yukito's arm.

She saw the unmistakable look in Amane's face as the stalker girl looked away. She was crying, whether from being caught again or from Erin's words, she didn't know, or care much, but a piece of her hoped she felt the sting in her voice. Amane could not keep doing this! And if that was what it took to get her to move on and leave them be, then fine, let it sting!

"I only did it because I love you, Yukito!"

"No! No, you don't!" Erin shouted back, not caring about the fact they were inside and so close, and not caring that Amane didn't give a care about her presence. She'd care or she'd quit. "You don't know anything about love!" Erin had taken her arm away from Yukito and was now gesturing dramatically with each word. "That's not love, you idiot, that's stalking, and he's asked you to stop, and if you really loved him, you would have listened! But you didn't, because you're just too selfish and too blind!"

"You don't get it!" Amane cried back. She was still addressing Yukito, though, who stood there, mute and paralyzed. "I've loved you ever since I met you that day at school, with Tevin there. You looked up at me and you did that lame little attempt at a smile and tried to make stupid conversation with us. Then you vanished, like some sort of ghost, and I couldn't stop thinking about you. I love the way you try to hide but always fail at it. I love the way you sit so quietly at parties, and the way you smile, and the way you get so protective when you love someone. I love the cute little grins you always made at the cameras in all your elementary school pictures, and I love the way your voice sounds. I've always loved you, Yukito, but you never even knew my name!" Despite her sobbing, Erin felt no compassion for her, and maybe that made her a horrible person, but all she could think of was how she was still following them. How she didn't care how it made Yukito feel, but still served her own wants anyway. How she had lied to herself enough to make herself think she was in love with him. How she just didn't get it!

"That's not love!" Erin shouted back, irate. "Stop saying you do! Shut up!"

Amane pointed at Erin, still looking at Yukito, and begged, "What is she that I'm not? How come she deserves to be loved by you, when I could never even get you to be friends with me? How come I don't even get to love you from a distance? I had finally found something for me to do with myself on that site. I finally started to feel like i wasn't alone in my love for you, in my love for someone who never gave me a chance! And you just took that away from me! How could you? You don't even know me!"

"You," Erin spouted back at full volume with equally edgy gestures, "are a stalking psycho that doesn't know how to take no for an answer! What you're doing hurts the one you supposedly 'love'! How do you explain that? You can't, because it doesn't make sense! That--isn't-- LOVE!"

Amane dropped her face in her hands, and Erin felt like she was earning her victory, despite the creeping twinge of guilt at knowing she was adding to the hurt. She shouldn't've messed with us, then. She's earned it! "I'm just the boring girl who happened to share a school with you once. I don't mean anything to anybody. And I wanted to mean something to you."

"Leave-- us-- alone!!" Erin shouted, pushing her hands on Amane's shoulders so that she was forced to knock the wall behind her. "He doesn't and won't want you, and I swear to God, if you keep this up I will call the cops, I will get a restraining order, and I will personally remind you to leave him alone!" she ordered, shoving roughly with each emphatic word.

[Elda Forever]

Amane Ourmura

"What are you doing here?" Erin hissed once the two of them realized Amane was standing there.

"I... I'm sorry if I made you angry, Yukito. I don't know what to do with myself anymore and..." Her eyes dropped, and Erin leapt upon her with words like a ravaging wolf setting in for the kill.

"Maybe you should live your own life and quit idolizing everyone else's!" she snapped. The tears fought their way down her cheeks, and she tried to hide them in vain. Glancing up, Erin's expression raised a desperation in her, and she wished more than anything she could prove Erin wrong. At something. Anything.

"I only did it because I love you, Yukito!" she cried out. He didn't flinch, or move. Why didn't he react? He reacted when Erin told him. A hopelessness pressed down on her chest, making it hard to breathe.

"No! No, you don't!" Erin shouted back. Amane shot her a look. "You don't know anything about love!"

As Erin moved a little away from Yukito to gesture dramatically in Amane's face, she had a hard time not flinching, every movement expecting to be slapped. "I d-do so!"

What makes you think that no one else can love like you do? You think you're so special?!

"That's not love, you idiot, that's stalking, and he's asked you to stop, and if you really loved him, you would have listened! But you didn't, because you're just too selfish and too blind!"

"You don't get it!" Amane cried back at Erin, wishing she would just shut up. Shut up and stop telling her horrible, horrible lies. Maybe it was Erin who was the selfish one, or the blind one. Had Erin ever considered that? She felt wounded and stifled, the air coming harder with each breath.

To Yukito she declared, "I've loved you ever since I met you that day at school, with Tevin there. You looked up at me and you did that lame little attempt at a smile and tried to make stupid conversation with us. Then you vanished, like some sort of ghost, and I couldn't stop thinking about you. I love the way you try to hide but always fail at it. I love the way you sit so quietly at parties, and the way you smile, and the way you get so protective when you love someone. I love the cute little grins you always made at the cameras in all your elementary school pictures, and I love the way your voice sounds. I've always loved you, Yukito, but you never even knew my name!" She sobbed harder when she noticed that the only reaction she was getting from his cold, beautiful face was the hardening of a defensive wall being put up. Rapid and made of steel.

"That's not love!" Erin shouted, irate. "Stop saying you do! Shut up!"

Amane pointed at Erin, still looking at Yukito, and begged, "What is she that I'm not? How come she deserves to be loved by you, when I could never even get you to be friends with me? How come I don't even get to love you from a distance? I had finally found something for me to do with myself on that site. I finally started to feel like i wasn't alone in my love for you, in my love for someone who never gave me a chance! And you just took that away from me! How could you? You don't even know me!"

"You are a stalking psycho that doesn't know how to take no for an answer! What you're doing hurts the one you supposedly 'love'! How do you explain that? You can't, because it doesn't make sense! That--isn't-- LOVE!"

"But he loves you!" Amane cried out, her voice rising in pitch as the tears flooded down. "He hurts you and you still love him! When you feel awful you can just ask him to hold you. All I wanted was a chance to be near him! I wanted someone to hold me, for once! I never had a chance!" Amane dropped her face in her hands, "I'm just the boring girl who happened to share a school with you once. I don't mean anything to anybody. And I wanted to mean something to you."

"Leave-- us-- alone!!" Erin shouted, and Amane let out a gasp as Erin's hands shoved her back painfully into a wall. Amane closed her eyes, expecting there to be more, and struggling to keep her feet beneath her. She couldn't even find the strength to fight back. Not with words, not with hands. Nothing. Because when she opened her eyes again, she knew she would see the same thing - Erin mad and Yukito....with nothing on his face. Nothing at all. Here no one seemed to think about how she felt. She was utterly alone. Even as she groped for Erin's wrists to fend her off, she only heard one word from Yukito, a reprimand of surprise, "Erin!" Amane's eyes opened to see him reaching for her, trying to make physical contact to bring her back to her sense, one hand on her shoulder.

"He doesn't and won't want you, and I swear to God, if you keep this up I will call the cops, I will get a restraining order, and I will personally remind you to leave him alone!" she ordered, shoving roughly with each emphatic word. Amane tried to push her hands away, her gaze locked fearfully on Erin's. She felt her lip trembling uncontrollably, her hands shaking and her stomach doing fearful flips in anticipation of what was to come next. Was she supposed to just walk away and pretend none of it happened, crawling back into the hole she'd dug for herself as protection against a cold world that would never remember her anyway? No one loved her like she loved Yukito. And maybe that would never be.

Her eyes raised up as his voice cut through, sounding worried. But not over me. Because psycho-mobster Erin is the perfect one, of course. "Erin, back off. Please." Amane looked up, slowly, to stare at his face. The expression there was so hard to describe. He looked... torn. And confused. And hurt. Amane's eyes flooded with tears again. Was that really my doing? I didn't want to hurt him. I wanted him to feel special and loved and to know how wonderful he is.. that's all I wanted.

"Killing her won't fix any of it," he mumbled quietly over Erin's shoulder, watching her now, like he couldn't meet Amane's eyes. Look at me! You look at her all the time! Why can't you look at me longer than a few seconds?

Then he did.

And she couldn't breathe.

"Amane..." he said quietly, almost stiffly. Amane remained pressed up against the wall, staring up at him and not speaking. "You're right, I don't know you. And you don't know me. That is why we were never friends. Don't you get that? You don't know me because you never had the guts to talk to me. I don't like you because you invaded my privacy and you won't leave me alone."

"I do know you!" Amane wept bitterly, surprising herself by the volume of her own words, "I know things about you Erin never will! And if you would just give me a chance--"

"No!" he shouted, making her jump a foot in the air. She managed to peer back up at him, and she saw on his face regret as his anger ebbed away. Maybe he was feeling bad for yelling at her. The idea kept the tiny candle of hope in her heart lit. "No... You have to understand, Amane..." His words were slow and deliberate, an uncountable amount of space between each that infuriated her as she stood, frozen in place. "I don't love you. I can't love you. I'm sorry, but... I'm never going to love you. Because I love Erin. And I want you to go away." Amane felt the air leave her lungs completely, looked up into his face, and exhaled sharply. He wasn't far away from her face, standing directly in front of her, looking right into her face. And she couldn't even pretend he was looking at her with compassion, because she knew it wouldn't make a difference. It would never make a difference. A sad expression flickered across Yukito's face, and his voice pleaded to her, "Please... " She hung her head, defeated.

[GGJ5]

Erin Spenser

"You ", Erin shouted at her, "are a stalking psycho that doesn't know how to take no for an answer! What you're doing hurts the one you supposedly 'love'! How do you explain that? You can't, because it doesn't make sense! That--isn't-- LOVE!"

"But he loves you!" Amane cried. "He hurts you and you still love him! When you feel awful you can just ask him to hold you. All I wanted was a chance to be near him! I wanted someone to hold me, for once! I never had a chance!"

"Our relationship is none of your business!" Erin snapped back, still stuck on the fact that she paid so much attention to them that she knew of more of their tiffs than Erin would have liked.

Amane dropped her face in her hands, though Erin didn't look away from her, seething. "I'm just the boring girl who happened to share a school with you once. I don't mean anything to anybody. And I wanted to mean something to you."

"Leave-- us-- alone!!" Erin shouted, giving her a bitter and impulsive shove, her hands clenching the girl's shoulders. She didn't notice the touch of Yukito's hand on her shoulder until he called her name, and she only ignored him, her eyes narrowing. "No, she won't get it!" Erin spat at him, then to Amane, "He doesn't and won't want you, and I swear to God, if you keep this up I will call the cops, I will get a restraining order, and I will personally remind you to leave him alone!" she ordered, each word earning another shove or shake.

"Erin," Yukito called again, and she cast him a glance through narrowed eyes. What? Don't tell me you think she'll listen to reason, she won't! "Back off. Please."

"Why?" she demanded, feeling Amane's hands around hers, but too upset to be easily removed. "She'll just go right back to stalking you, the freak. Next she'll be sneaking into our room to watch you sleep!" Her words coincided with another shake.

"Killing her won't fix any of it," Yukito said quietly. Still in control when she was anything but. Slowly Erin let her hands drop to her sides and back to stand close to Yukito, gently and possessively putting her arms around him, but not without a deep, venomous glare towards Amane that would not boil down, no matter how many "Erin, please"es Yukito might give her. Her breathing was still off and overworked from the upset as she pressed close to Yukito.

"Amane..." Yukito said quietly. Amane hadn't moved, though. "You're right, I don't know you. And you don't know me. That is why we were never friends. Don't you get that? You don't know me because you never had the guts to talk to me. I don't like you because you invaded my privacy and you won't leave me alone."

"I do know you!" Amane argued back. "I know things about you Erin never will! And if you would just give me a chance--"

A shift of Erin's face showed her surprise at Amane's daring words. She was pressing Erin's buttons, and Erin knew she knew it, too. The psycho obsessee knew everything, didn't she? Including how much she hated secrets, and how teacup-fragile certain spots in her heart were. She had to be playing Erin, to try to get her to--

"No!" Yukito finally shouted, breaking there. Serves you right, crazy! Erin thought at her bitterly. "No... You have to understand, Amane..." I don't love you. I can't love you. I'm sorry, but... I'm never going to love you. Because I love Erin. And I want you to go away."

Erin's face was set now, stony, as she felt sure Amane couldn't misunderstand that now. And if she did, she knew Erin's promise.

"Please... " he added softly, and at that, Amane seemed to finally get it. She had to move on. She had to get these freak notions out of her head and find something beyond obsession. Something real, something hers, and not Erin's. Her face remained icy, stony, and hard towards Amane, unable to fathom speaking to her anymore without doing something stupid, and so she spoke to Yukito: "I want to go now." She found Yukito's arm and pulled at his elbow. "Let's go." I can't stay in here anymore right now, you get that, right?

Once outside, Erin stopped and rested her back against the brick wall, letting out a mix between a groan and a sigh. She thanked God it was over, but more than anything she wished it never had to have happened in the first place. And now shame was creeping in on her, too. She felt the need to apologize, but not to Amane. Never to Amane. "I didn't mean to scare her like that," she muttered. "I didn't know what to do; I'm so mad at her! I feel like an awful person now... But how was I supposed to react to that?"

"And Yukito... do you think she meant anything by it? By her saying "knowing things I'll never know"?" The knots in her face reflected her thoughts: You know I can't do secrets, Yukito... You said no more. And I believe you meant it...

[Elda Forever]

Yukito Maki

"I do know you!" Amane argued back. "I know things about you Erin never will! And if you would just give me a chance--"

"No!" Yukito finally shouted, cutting her off, losing the strange wave of calm he'd been covered in through most of the conversation. Angry at his outburst, at the coldness of the words he had to speak, and of the way she jumped at the sound of his angry voice, he said more quietly, "No... You have to understand, Amane... I don't love you. I can't love you. I'm sorry, but... I'm never going to love you. Because I love Erin. And I want you to go away." He looked into her face, seeing the betrayal swimming in Amane's eyes. As afraid as she had made him in the last few weeks, as much as he hated the feeling of invasion, it felt so cruel to have to tell her in this way. It was worse than a slap across the face. He hated to have to tell someone to go as far away as possible, and only because... they liked him too much. After thinking for so long that he wasn't meant for certain things, for certain levels of acceptance, he despised what this had come to. And no matter how often he tried to turn it into a new light, it always came out to the fact that he had to break her heart to get her to leave them alone.

"Please... " he added softly. Looking up at him for a long moment, they all three were held in a suspended moment of hesitation. Then Amane let out a sigh. He could see the resignation there, but his face could hold no joy or celebration at this.

Erin's voice filtered through like steel through ice. "I want to go now." She found Yukito's arm and pulled at his elbow. "Let's go."

Yukito gave a slow nod, moving away from Amane. A part of him really wanted to apologize again, to let her know it would be alright, that he couldn't hate her for something like this. But another part of him was now paranoid of what giving her any spark of hope might do. He was afraid all over again. He turned and, taking Erin's hand in his own, sweating, trembling palm, they left Seeing Red. Stepping through the doors was like being hit with a harsh, cold reality. Just as Erin let out a relieved sort of mix between a groan and a sigh, he felt like everything had just hit him afresh.

"I didn't mean to scare her like that," she muttered. "I didn't know what to do; I'm so mad at her! I feel like an awful person now... But how was I supposed to react to that?"

Slowly, feeling the weights on his shoes dragging him down, he went to stand closer to her, still frowning and looking pained. "How was I supposed to react, I wonder?" He sank to the ground next to her, trying to subdue the gnawing at his chest. He drew up his knees and folded both his arms against them, leaning his forehead against his forearms, his hands reaching over to entangle in his hair. "God, I feel like I just killed all somebody's dreams off in one fell swoop..."

"And Yukito... do you think she meant anything by it? By her saying "knowing things I'll never know"?"

Yukito didn't respond verbally in the first, just raising his face to meet hers. Her expressive face was clear in what he read - she knew there was grounds in what Amane had said about knowing things Erin didn't. God, he hated the whole business. He wasn't sure if he was sure himself what Amane had meant by that - but he had a very good guess. It had been on the biography page - I have a freaking biography page - when he had first been shown the site. Yukito looked ahead at the street, his hands still buried in his hair.

"She's probably assuming I didn't tell you about my dad, I'm thinking. Plus.." he frowned, and glanced over at her so he could gauge her reaction. "Natalie." He sighed, "There was a lot of information about her on that website I didn't think she could have found out. There were some things on there even I didn't know about her. Like where she was born, the names of her parents..." Names, which he had memorized too easily. "Mostly the stuff Natalie would brush off as 'the boring things no one really wants to know about anyway'. She thought it was more important to know who a person was, and what they believed, instead of where they went to college or who they were related to." He raised one shoulder in a shrug. In the depression of his mood he had rambled on a little more than necessary about Natalie. Knowing Erin felt a lot of weirdness about him talking about Natalie, he shut himself up and asked her, "Can we go now? I don't want to be here when she comes out..."

"She'll just go right back to stalking you, the freak. Next she'll be sneaking into our room to watch you sleep!"

The idea of Amane being in their bedroom made Yukito shudder involuntarily, and he found himself staring down at his knees with a dark expression.

[GGJ5]

Erin Spenser

"I didn't mean to scare her like that," Erim muttered, leaning against the wall of the building. Honestly, she felt a little guilty now, towards Yukito... She didn't feel at all as though she'd overreacted, but still, she doubted Yukito approved of her reaction, and that idea caused a little twinge of discomfort. "I didn't know what to do; I'm so mad at her! I feel like an awful person now... But how was I supposed to react to that?" she argued defensively.

"How was I supposed to react, I wonder?" Yukito asked, sinking to the ground. Erin scoffed, screwing up her face at the thought that came to her. "Probably chuck me to the side of the road, fling your arms around her, and frolic through a field of daisies with her, or whatever craziness goes on in her crazy head..."

She looked down, the guilty feeling prodding her more as she saw the evident despondency in Yukito's movements. He was really torn up about this... it was just how he was, and part of her wished she could feel more like that. But all she felt to Amane was pure animosity. Maybe that made her a horrible person, but there wasn't anything she could do about it, was there? She was the one that should have left them alone... Not Erin.

"God, I feel like I just killed all somebody's dreams off in one fell swoop..."

"You didn't have a choice, Yukito," Erin reminded him. "You did the right thing, even for her, and she'll realize that later. You have to protect yourself..." As lame as it sounded, Erin felt her words were true and justified. He did do the right thing. Even if it didn't feel like it at the time. They'd see soon enough that it was right.

Erin sighed a little, looking down at him, unable to keep back just one thing... "And Yukito... do you think she meant anything by it? By her saying 'knowing things I'll never know'?"

His head rose to meet her eyes, and she was sure he knew the reason behind the question. A little worry nudged her, that he would be disappointed in her worrying this way again, even one iota.. But it was Amane, it could mean nothing, too, and it would be nice to know... He looked away before he talked again.

"She's probably assuming I didn't tell you about my dad, I'm thinking. Plus.." Here he paused and looked at her. "Natalie."

"Oh," Erin said, trying her best to reply easily and disinterestedly. Since Yukito had told her a bit about her that one time, letting Erin in just a bit, she'd tried not to think on it too much, and usually did a good job. But it was times like now where she remembered, and she wondered if Yukito really meant it when he told her he only thought of Erin when they kissed, and things like that... If he really loved this girl, wouldn't he still think about her, too? So many what ifs cropped up in her mind at the thought of the girl she could never meet, and of the past she could really only imagine from the few small details he'd given her... Instead, Erin tried t ignore them all, reminding herself how stupid it was to worry about competing with someone that was dead, and she tried her very best to sound like it was nothing, just another fact about Yukito, like that his hair was black, or something like that.

"There was a lot of information about her on that website I didn't think she could have found out. There were some things on there even I didn't know about her. Like where she was born, the names of her parents..."

"Oh," Erin repeated. You didn't know where she was born? Or her parents' names? Why not? She couldn't ask, though.

"Mostly the stuff Natalie would brush off as 'the boring things no one really wants to know about anyway'. She thought it was more important to know who a person was, and what they believed, instead of where they went to college or who they were related to." He gave a little shrug, as if it was nothing, and Erin cast a glance at the cement. Would you talk about me that way, too? If.. if you had to...? "I believe that, too," Erin put in quietly. No... no, you wouldn't talk that way about me...

That seemed to finish things for Yukito, who finally made a decision. "Can we go now? I don't want to be here when she comes out..."

"Fine with me," Erin responded automatically, but Yukito didn't move to get up. Instead, he just stared at his knees, still shaken. Erin sighed, reaching down to take his hand and pull him up towards her. "Come on, Yukito. You'll feel better once we're home."

It's my first home.. but I don't think it's yours, not now... what else won't get to be my first? What else has already been taken from me? How much of your heart will I never win.... A little voice in the back of her mind, quiet but present, called out that these might be similar thoughts to what Amane might feel, and immediately, Erin shut the voice up.

But the questions remained, just under the surface. How far do I have to go to measure up to her?

[Elda Forever]

Yukito Maki

"How was I supposed to react, I wonder?" Yukito asked, sinking to the ground. Erin scoffed, screwing up her face, "Probably chuck me to the side of the road, fling your arms around her, and frolic through a field of daisies with her, or whatever craziness goes on in her crazy head..."

At that, Yukito had to give a snort of amusement. It was kind of a funny picture. He couldn't see himself flinging his arms around Amane in the first place, much less picture himself frolicking anywhere with her. But not even a mental image could stave off the feeling of dread and guilt washing over Yukito, and it showed. He buried his head from sight. "God, I feel like I just killed all somebody's dreams off in one fell swoop..."

"You didn't have a choice, Yukito," Erin reminded him. "You did the right thing, even for her, and she'll realize that later. You have to protect yourself..." He didn't respond, thinking on her words long and hard. Above him, she sighed. "And Yukito... do you think she meant anything by it? By her saying 'knowing things I'll never know'?" Her words held a lot of weight to them, and he looked up to meet her eyes, seeing written in the lines of worry some true traces of fear. The secrets between them always blossomed into a full-fledged thorn bush, threatening to tangle them every time. Secrets were not accepted here, and Yukito and Erin both knew there were good reasons for that. Yukito lowered his head again.

"She's probably assuming I didn't tell you about my dad, I'm thinking. Plus.." Here he paused and looked at her. "Natalie."

"Oh," was all Erin said. He noted the subdued sound to her voice.

"There was a lot of information about her on that website I didn't think she could have found out. There were some things on there even I didn't know about her. Like where she was born, the names of her parents..." Erin repeated her previous single-word comment, making him look up at her in question. Yukito sighed a little, "Mostly the stuff Natalie would brush off as 'the boring things no one really wants to know about anyway'. She thought it was more important to know who a person was, and what they believed, instead of where they went to college or who they were related to." He gave a little shrug as if that explained it better. Erin's gaze fell to the sidewalk.

"I believe that, too," Erin put in quietly. Yukito sent her a small smile.

"Yeah, I know..." A pause, and the silence between them lengthened. Yukito was first to break the silence with, "Can we go now? I don't want to be here when she comes out..."

"Fine with me," Erin responded rather quickly. But Yukito didn't move at first, staring at his knees blankly. It wasn't as if he was pondering anything in particular, but it felt as if his mind had just shut down temporarily and unexpectedly. There was no expression. No reaction. Just a shudder and him still staring at his knees, feeling displaced from his own body. Erin's hand took his, bringing him back to earth. His face shot up to find hers as she tugged him up until he was standing next to her. "Come on, Yukito. You'll feel better once we're home."

Yukito just nodded. It certainly didn't feel like that. He still felt hollow as they both wandered back to the car to head home. He didn't look back in time to see Amane race from Seeing Red in tears, running as face as she could in the opposite direction. He didn't look back at all. Violated. Again.

We are done here.

[issie]

Liv Aldis

Liv walked slowly into the music store, looking around carefully to see if anyone she knew was there. Sighing with relief, she started towards the back of the shop, glancing at everything around her as she went. There were a lot of CD's she wasn't familiar with, she realized. Most of the names looked foreign to her, which wasn't unusual, she still had troubles reading English, in general.

Out of the corner of her eye, Liv could have sworn she saw someone familiar and she lowered her face, pretending to sift through the CD's in front of her, the right side of her face turned away from that person. Normally, she wouldn't hide like this from people she knew, but she had a good reason for it that day.

There was a cut right under her right eye that forced it to swell and giving her a black eye that looked like she had been through a horror movie. Then, a little lower and to the right of that, she had another bruise, but this one was bigger and seemed to cover a lot of her usually pale cheek. She had tried to style her hair so that it covered most of it, but she couldn't get it to do what she wanted, so a lot of it could be seen. This had kept her from going to public places for about a day, then she couldn't stand being cooped up in the house with her parents, they just got more ideas the longer she stayed, so she left.

But she was bound and determined not to be noticed by anyone she knew, even if it was inevitable...

[GGJ5]

Erin Spenser

Erin had gotten into the habit of just ignoring everyone else and every thing in the store and bee-lining straight to Yukito. Today was no different. She'd gotten one of her friends to drop her off at the shop after school had gotten out, so she waltzed in with her backpack over her shoulder. Her eyes immediately found Yukito behind one of the counters. "Yuyukun!" she called hurrying over to skip behind the counter with him, tossing her backpack on the top of it. Erin pulled him into a hug. "Hiiiii!" Briefly she reached up to kiss his cheek. "How much longer til you get off?"

She turned around and started pulling papers out of her bag. "Look, I got stuff back today. I got my English test back and look, it's actually non-fail! But I have to redo my math one... they're letting me retake it because I'm pretty sure they're sick of me," Erin rambled with a little pout. She looked up across from her just briefly, and a familiar face registered with her. "Hey! I know her!" Erin chirped, recognizing the face of Liv, the girl she'd stumbled on when she'd dropped her phone a while back...

[Elda Forever]

Yukito Maki

It had been one of those long days in the supply room building new CD racks for all the new inventory. Ever since they had discovered he had been building all his own CD racks at home to save money, his uppers had moved him to the building section. And apparently, they needed some remodeling with cheap labor. At least it was easier than dealing with customers the entire day. He wasn't very good with people, he discovered. But he was still required to handle the counters for part of the workday, so he headed out to the front.

The first few customers were silent, and didn't seem interested in much beyond their own purchases. He tried not to grimace as an exceptional amount of Miley Cyrus' "Can't Be Tamed" passed through his fingers at the checkout. Some people couldn't be saved, he supposed. He looked up as Erin entered, though, and instantly a smile crossed his face.

"Yuyukun!" His smile broadened as she fearlessly flew over, coming to stand behind the counter with him as he rang up another customer, giving them a bit more than his customary nod as he gave them their receipt, letting them go just as Erin dropped her backpack on the counter. "Hiiiii!" Briefly she reached up to kiss his cheek. "How much longer til you get off?"

He glanced up at the clock. "About two minutes, actually. I'm getting off a little early today..."

She turned around and started pulling papers out of her bag. "Look, I got stuff back today. I got my English test back and look, it's actually non-fail! But I have to redo my math one... they're letting me retake it because I'm pretty sure they're sick of me," Erin rambled with a little pout. He took the papers from her, inspecting her grades with a habitually unreadable face. He had learned quickly not to say all his thoughts when it came to Erin's grades, even if he thought she could be doing a lot better if she wasn't texting so much in class... But Erin wasn't paying him any attention just then, anyways.

"Hey! I know her!" Erin chirped, and Yukito glanced up toward the girl for a second, not quite registering the familiarity of the figure until he had already turned back to the paper in his hand. He did a fierce double-take, jumping on the spot and his hand tightening on the paper a bit as he stared at the girl. Turn around and prove me wrong... The slightest move of her head, and Yukito's suspicions were confirmed.

Looking over at Erin with more than a little fear and wonder in his eyes, he set her grades down and called out to the girl across the store, "Stopp tyven!" The words trembled a bit on his tongue, as they had stumbled many times before. Natalie had taught him to say it, as she teased him and her sister any time they went to take her snacks or wandered into a room looking guilty. 'Stop, thief!' had been her cry, just before the laughter began. If it was really her, then she would recognize the ploy.

If it was really Liv, Natalie's baby sister.