Gert Town Pool

[Elda Forever]

Yukito Maki

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Erin," he found himself saying to her. It made him sound harsh and ungrateful that she was still here, still trying to understand all the weird, stupid things that he did and that happened to him.

"I will, Yukito," she stubbornly sent back, her eyes flashing with a kind of determination that he didn't want her to ever need. "I will!"

"Some things aren't worth it, okay?" I don't need you to get in the middle of it, Erin. I just wanted you to understand and to know. It's hard to tell you things sometimes. Because I'm afraid you're going to over-react and do something stupid. Like slam your head into things or hurt yourself again. I don't need you to try to fix me and fail. Too many people have tried to do that to me. He looked down at her battered knees, a wave of guilt washing over him again. "Like this..you shouldn't be sitting here...hurting like...And...maybe some people asked for it. Maybe the worst things happen because we take good things for granted... and maybe... years afterwards we're supposed to keep remembering..."

Yukito looked up to meet her eyes but found hers were closed. She spoke and her voice was barely above a breath, trickling out of her mouth almost timidly, as if she already anticipated an answer. "No. That's not it. I don't know why, but I know that's not it. You didn't ask for any of it and nothing you could've done or not done woulda changed it..."

He just smiled at her. But you don't even know the whole story. You didn't know me then, Erin.

"But you," Erin voiced quietly, "How could anyone hurt you[/o]? Does your mom know? Do you have, like, a restraining order? Would it mean anything? Probably not, not for someone like that, but I'll think of something, I will, I'll--"

He shook his head in answer to all her questions except, “My mother knew several months afterwards. I was having nightmares and she found me.” Then he sighed, "Erin, I don't want you to protect me from him. I should have done that from the start....

"I'm sorry..." she sighed. He wished she wouldn't apologize. What had she done?

"Y'know, it took me a long time to get anywhere. Every time people say that I...I shut myself off right after it happened. I didn't tell anybody. I don't know why I do it, but I always have. That's why it's so easy for me to hurt you. It's hard for me to show anything. I couldn't touch people...I couldn't speak to them...I still don't let my friends get close to me, even when I really want them to. When everyone else is bull***ing around, and I have to make some sort of excuse to stay out of reach because I'm afraid of what I'll do... I hadn't seen him for a long, long time when he randomly showed up at the apartment. I hated to see him there, but I hated the fact that I couldn't hide it from you more, and I don't know why. But I needed you to stay with me, at least until he left. I don't know what I would have done otherwise..."

"I didn't do anything, though," she murmured. "I didn't even know what he'd done... and I.. I was nice,"

She seemed disgusted by this idea, and he shook his head with a little chuckle, “Erin, you were there. He couldn't do anything about that. He couldn't come from behind his mask.” The statement was made as a simple fact, almost an amusing one. You did protect me. Because he knew you didn't know.

"After you left, I ended up having...I dunno...an argument I guess you could call it, with my mom. She said he wasn't staying. But I still couldn't sleep for awhile after that." He could see the regret in her face, and he wondered if there was chance of cheering her back up again. Like she was before, when they had been playing in the pool and having fun. "Don't feel sorry for me, Erin. I'm fine, okay? See?" He leaned down toward her with a smile. "I'm getting better. I just...I'm not ready for more of you yet. I'm still kind of jet-lagged from what I've already managed to claim of you."

She rolled over and her head lifted towards him, their eyes locked. They didn't speak for awhile, and he wondered how much they could convey through their eyes. Could you get actual words through, he wondered? Or just emotions, straight-forward, brutal, stripped feelings that were mirrored so easily and so impossible to hide completely? She lifted herself up until she was propped up on one hand and he moved a little closer, leaning in to her. Her following words were the only thing that stopped him from actually making contact with her, the question causing him to hesitate.

"Yukito... before... have I ever done anything you didn't want me to, that you wanted me to stop?" It was just the sort of question that made him uncomfortable answering. He stared blankly at her for a few seconds before he had to turn his head away. He could have lied to her. Said that this was the first time. But there had been so many episodes close to this one, he couldn't count them. But how could she have known if he had been so determined not to tell her? How could she have gone against what was so natural and easy for her? He never expected that from her. He couldn't.

“Yeah...” he mumbled. He should have added on the excessive amount of times she'd done it, he supposed. But what would have been the point, except to make her feel bad?

"I never wanted to make you feel that way and I am so, so, so sorry..." He stared quietly forward, sensing her shifting next to him into a more comfortable sitting position.

“Don't be.” he breathed, to himself with a volume that was next to silent, and more intended for himself rather than her – he had to say it but didn't want to.

"I just... wanna know what, you know, you want or don't want or whatever...." He didn't respond and she added, “You can forget I asked if you want,"

He took his time looking back over at her, wanting to tell her to forget about it. As if it would all be that easy. That quick. “No, I can't, Erin.”

Yukito sighed, then gestured for her to come closer, meanwhile yanking the nearly-forgotten shirt back on. Once she was next to him, he pulled her closer until his cheek brushed against hers. “I want you to be close to me. I want to learn how to let you. I just need you to be patient with me...” His arms clung around her waist possessively, and he touched his nose to hers. His eyes were saddened by the sight of her next to him, however. Knowing that she knew and that now things would be different. Always different. “I'm sorry, but you had to know. Don't be afraid to be near me, please.”

He took her hand in his, and it felt too cold to him, so he held it between both of his hands for awhile. “Letting you hold me is hard. Sometimes you hold too tightly. Usually I like it, but sometimes...it hurts...” He realized then that he meant more of a mental hurt than physical, even if her more animated tackles had made bruises. Her ease with that had never really been a bad point. Just one hard to deal with. He pressed his forehead to hers. “Kisses are fine. Any type you like.” He couldn't help but laugh at that, breaking off their constant eye contact so he could close them momentarily in his laughter, to open them again and become solemn as before. “I can't give you exact lines, Erin, and that's what makes it hard. It isn't planned, and usually it's not the same. But...I dunno.” I guess it just makes it easier if you understand why I have to draw back sometimes.

[GGJ5]

Erin Spenser

She felt awful for asking, but the words came out as she thought of them, and she really did need to know... "Yukito... before... have I ever done anything you didn't want me to, that you wanted me to stop?"

“Yeah...” he told her simply. Frankly. Brutally honest. And the thought of making him want to shy away from her, the thought of causing him any kind of discomfort like that... she could hurt herself for doing that. Oh my god... I'm so horrible to you... I'm so sorry.... "I never wanted to make you feel that way and I am so, so, so sorry..." she quickly, sincerely apologized. I won't ever do that again, I swear, I'll be extra careful, I will, I promise I won't do anything to make you feel that way again, and I am so sorry...

She couldn't hear what he'd said in response, so quietly, and she tried to amend, "I just... wanna know what, you know, you want or don't want or whatever...." He didn't answer her, and she amended again, quickly, “You can forget I asked if you want." Way to screw everything up even more, Captain Screw-Up, she chided herself.

“No, I can't, Erin.” Yukito sighed, then gestured for her to come closer, and Erin inched timidly in his direction, afraid of making him pull away again. Her heart sank a bit more when he reverted to hiding under the shirt again. Screwed that up, too, she thought forlornly. To her surprise, Yukito drew her closer, his face even touching hers, even if it was just a light brush. I don't understand what you want from me, I don't understand! “I want you to be close to me. I want to learn how to let you. I just need you to be patient with me...” Even as he spoke about it, Yukito's arms encircled her protectively, something she'd been aching for him to do, and she couldn't help but peer at him questioningly when his face was so close to hers. I thought you didn't want to touch me now... I'm so confused. And I'm so scared of making you push me away again...

“I'm sorry, but you had to know. Don't be afraid to be near me, please.”

She shook her head a little, droplets released from the ends of her icy wet hair, and she was reminded of how lightheaded she still felt. "I don't want to mess up and make you feel like that again, Yukito... That's what I'm scared of. I'm so scared of messing up because I don't know what to do, I don't know what you don't want. I don't want to do anything you-- you don't want." Her voice cracked with the urge to cry again, and she hated the feeling, but it wasn't going away as long as this was happening...

Yukito answered by first taking her hand between his, the warmth he'd somehow managed to maintain breaking slowing through her skin. “Letting you hold me is hard. Sometimes you hold too tightly. Usually I like it, but sometimes...it hurts...”

The idea that something she'd done because of her joy around him had actually hurt him appalled Erin, and what was worse was that she was appalled by herself. I didn't mean to... I'm so sorry.

He pressed his forehead to hers. “Kisses are fine. Any type you like.” But I did kiss you, in there, and that's what you didn't like, because it wasn't your lips, it was too much and I screwed up everything... please don't confuse me anymore, I know it's easy, but please... she thought in the midst of his little laugh from something like a private joke. She tried to smile in response when she could see his eyes again, but Erin wasn't sure if it was convincing. “I can't give you exact lines, Erin, and that's what makes it hard. It isn't planned, and usually it's not the same. But...I dunno.”

Erin sighed, feeling like she'd just screwed up a lot more than she'd originally thought. She swallowed hard, past the lump in her throat leftover from tears. "But I don't want to mess up again," she told him quietly. I'm so scared of hurting you. "I... I want you to be happy with me..." A gust of wind sent a shiver through her as it glided through her dripping hair. "I'm getting you wet again," she muttered, as though admitting she'd cheated on a test. "I'm no good at reading things, Yukito," she continued in a murmur. "Or people... I want to do what will make you happy, but you're gonna have to tell me... I couldn't tell when I made you feel... uncomfortable... I'm sorry." The shivering had started up again, and she wanted more than anything to hold him as close to her as possible, but that would screw everything up even more. I can't do that. I can't risk making him feel that way ever again... "I love you more than anyone... I wish all I did was make you happy..."

[Elda Forever]

Yukito Maki

He could feel the fear in her as he drew her closer, determined to show her it was going to be okay. “I'm sorry, but you had to know. Don't be afraid to be near me, please.”

She shook her head a little, and icy drops of water slashed across his face. "I don't want to mess up and make you feel like that again, Yukito... That's what I'm scared of. I'm so scared of messing up because I don't know what to do, I don't know what you don't want. I don't want to do anything you-- you don't want."

He took her hand and encompassed it between both of his, trying to warm her up a little because she was shivering. “Letting you hold me is hard. Sometimes you hold too tightly. Usually I like it, but sometimes...it hurts... Kisses are fine. Any type you like.” Her eyes said she wasn't fully believing him. “I can't give you exact lines, Erin, and that's what makes it hard. It isn't planned, and usually it's not the same. But...I dunno.”

"But I don't want to mess up again," she told him quietly. "I... I want you to be happy with me..." He didn't say anything, still trying to figure out why she was always pinning their troubles on herself. Why was she so determined to say it was her fault? Her shortcoming? He had been the one who had pushed her away. It was his past that kept coming between them. "I'm getting you wet again,"

“I don't mind...” he mumbled.

"I'm no good at reading things, Yukito," she continued in a murmur. "Or people... I want to do what will make you happy, but you're gonna have to tell me... I couldn't tell when I made you feel... uncomfortable... I'm sorry." She shivered visibly, "I love you more than anyone... I wish all I did was make you happy..."

He smiled at her with irony. “You know, it really will be okay, Erin. I don't care about it like that. If you really love me, won't you take me, happy or not?” He leaned his head down towards her, peering up into her face. “I'll find a way to let you know...just..don't keep blaming it on yourself, okay? That really...that makes me feel really awful, because it's not your fault. It was his, and mine. You were just trying to say you care about me, and...for some reason it's hard for me to take that.” He looked her over once, his smile long faded. “Do you want to go? You're too cold, you shouldn't be sitting here all wet...” Yukito looked over at the pool, still reflecting the eerie blue-green color of the chlorine. “Is it too late to go back?” His words didn't really explain his train of thought, but he didn't know what else to add. What he really wanted was to rewind to before..had it been a half an hour they'd been sitting here, talking? He wanted to be in the pool with her again, just standing there looking like a fool as he tried and failed to swim. It seemed like no matter how complicated things were, they just kept getting more intense and more difficult. Yesterday was already simple in comparison now.

[GGJ5]

Erin Spenser

"I'm getting you wet again," Erin muttered sadly.

“I don't mind...”

"I'm no good at reading things, Yukito," she continued in a murmur. "Or people... I want to do what will make you happy, but you're gonna have to tell me... I couldn't tell when I made you feel... uncomfortable... I'm sorry. I love you more than anyone... I wish all I did was make you happy..."

Did he really smile at her? Why? What could I have said to deserve that?

“You know, it really will be okay, Erin. I don't care about it like that. If you really love me, won't you take me, happy or not?” Yukito leaned his head down towards her, Erin chiding herself for feeling another wave of sadness, knowing she was the cause of all of this.

"Yes," she mumbled in a frank reply. "But I still don't want to be the reason you aren't... I really like seeing you smile and stuff..." She felt more stupid for saying so, but it was true...

“I'll find a way to let you know...just..don't keep blaming it on yourself, okay? That really...that makes me feel really awful, because it's not your fault. It was his, and mine. You were just trying to say you care about me, and...for some reason it's hard for me to take that.”

Why she nodded she didn't know, she guessed to just let him know she was listening. Her feeling bad because he felt bad made him feel worse, and that was just cruel. How was she supposed to feel, happy? "O-okay," she spoke through a little shudder.

“Do you want to go? You're too cold, you shouldn't be sitting here all wet...”

She shook her head by way of response, the dizzying sensation lingering. I just want to be with you, and make it up to you.

“Is it too late to go back?”

"Huh? Back to what?" Erin voiced the thought immediately, regretting how dumb it made her sound. Oh... the pool? "You want to go back in? ...With me?" Still feeling timid, Erin nodded, feeling the warmth from his arms around her. "Will you keep holding me?" Because I think I might fall if you don't.

[Elda Forever]

Yukito Maki

"I'm no good at reading things, Yukito, or people... I want to do what will make you happy, but you're gonna have to tell me... I couldn't tell when I made you feel... uncomfortable... I'm sorry. I love you more than anyone... I wish all I did was make you happy..."

He smiled over at her. Don't we all wish that? That things will always turn out fantastic? Why even put up a front and say, 'as long as it's okay', or 'as long as the people I love are safe and happy'... The truth is, we always want it to work out the best way it can. We'll never be in any sort of 'heaven-sent' state, because we're always wishing for more than what we have. “You know, it really will be okay, Erin. I don't care about it like that. If you really love me, won't you take me, happy or not?”

"Yes," she said exactly what he would have expected her to, "But I still don't want to be the reason you aren't... I really like seeing you smile and stuff..."

I want to smile for you. Yukito remembered how Aidousan had commented when he had first heard both Erin and Yukito over the phone together. It was like a giddy little echo in his mind. Good to heared you so talky! Or something like that. You make me smile when no one else does. And you keep trying. I guess you do like it.

He leaned down and peered up at her inquisitively, meeting her eyes evenly and without waivering. “I'll find a way to let you know...just..don't keep blaming it on yourself, okay? That really...that makes me feel really awful, because it's not your fault. It was his, and mine. You were just trying to say you care about me, and...for some reason it's hard for me to take that.”

Her response was a feeble nod, probably involuntary as she soaked in his words and hers, soaked in the feelings and the situation. "O-okay," He was still worried that he shouldn't have told her. That it would change everything too much. He was still worried about her being cold, wet, and injured, yet always wrapped around his issues like they were the important ones. He tried again to turn the attention to her.

“Do you want to go? You're too cold, you shouldn't be sitting here all wet...” Erin shook her head before he had finished. Slowly, he pulled her closer, feeling the barrier and able to move her to his shoulder, laying her head against the shirt until her wet hair started to soak it through. His hands stayed around her head, keeping her there with a gentle hold. Yukito did what he usually did – force through a couple of silent breaths that she wouldn't take notice of, and then relax into the embrace, wrapping his arms around her until they started to heat each other up again. He wanted her there. It was as if he was going through a warped method of physical therapy to get her close again. To get anyone close again. It was so much easier with the thin but effective fabric of the shirt between them. It was easier when there was a little reassurance, a little something he could count on, focus on to bring him back to the here and now. It had been so strange and uncertain, to feel her skin against his like that. He hated how alien it had felt, and if he could have beat himself up and make him see the error of his ways, he probably would have. A thousand times he screamed at himself to get over it and stop being so weak. It didn't change much or make it any easier. “Is it too late to go back?” he found himself asking aloud, his eyes falling to the glow of the pool.

"Huh? Back to what?" her response, the way she had said it, made him smile.

“The pool...” he added, deciding to keep his simple. His tone held a bit of a smug air to it.

"You want to go back in? ...With me?"

“There's no one else I'd rather go back in with.” he said quietly. There was too much of a solemnity to his tone, too much remorse. He lightened it up by mumbling, “Unless you count my other hot American girlfriend...”

“You game?”

She nodded, "Will you keep holding me?"

It was his turn for a nod, and then as an afterthought he added, “Sure...” He paused for a moment, then leaned towards her and gingerly reached his arms around her to pick her up off the ground. “I don't want you to....” He glanced at her face then turned away, staring in front of him as they made their way into the pool. Yukito hovered around her silently, doing his best to keep the physical contact and reassure her, to make things better like they were before. Once they were in the water, he continued to hold her in his arms, the shirt getting soaked and sticking to him as he turned to try and smile at her. "Sorry you got a weirdo.."

[GGJ5]

Erin Spenser

“Do you want to go? You're too cold, you shouldn't be sitting here all wet...”

Immediately Erin shook her head in the negative. Yukito only responded by, still to Erin's surprise, pulling her closer to him. I don't understand... don't you think I'm slutty for acting that way and not even noticing you didn't want it? I feel like I am... it sounds so stupid to replay in my head, what I said... But I do want to be yours... I'm so confused... After a moment Yukito shifted into their more natural embrace, Erin replicating it despite the fears that she'd make him pull away again. If he started something, then that made it okay for him, right? It still felt so right to be so close to him, and it made her quit shivering after a minute or two. See? This is good... it's good, right?

But still, she'd made him close himself off, even in a small way... he'd gone back to hiding behind his shirt, which... now it made more sense to her why it'd been such a big to-do for him. And she hadn't done such a good job of respecting that... A little fresh point of guilt played around in her stomach. And he was back behind there because of how uncomfortable she'd made him feel... I know you don't want me to blame myself, but it's only us here, and you didn't do anything... it's really hard not to do that, Yukito. I'm sorry. A salty droplet of water mingled with the chlorinated tears. I'll just have to do better. I promise, Yukito, I'll do better from now on. I will. And you will be happy, because you'll be loved, and it'll be okay. It will.

“Is it too late to go back?” voiced Yukito, breaking Erin from her thoughts.

"Huh? Back to what?"

"The pool..." he told her simply.

Oh. Right... duh. "You want to go back in? ...With me?"

“There's no one else I'd rather go back in with,” he told her, and when Erin didn't respond, he added, “Unless you count my other hot American girlfriend...”

That earned him a little short burst of a laugh from her, still holding her arms around his shoulders, too scared to try anywhere else. But you still know what will make me laugh even if I don't feel like laughing. And I think you like doing that. The thought made her smile.

“You game?”

She just nodded, even though her head and neck were still pretty sore, and she still felt dizzy. Is that ever going to go away now? It's really bad today... "Will you keep holding me?"

Yukito gave a slight nod, adding, "Sure..." That's your favorite word today, isn't it? she thought with sad amusement.

Before Erin could get to her feet, Yukito was already pulling her up from the ground, almost like she needed the aid to do it. But he as holding her the whole time, so it didnt' seem... wrong or anything. “I don't want you to....” He didn't finish, and she looked at him curiously, waiting for the end of the sentence, and then decided she wouldn't get one.

It almost awed her that he still wanted to keep her so close, but for that she was so grateful. Erin wondered if he knew how much that one act meant, even though she couldn't explain why it meant so much, or exactly what it meant. But it did mean a lot, and it meant that he still loved her, or at least found her tolerable.

"Sorry you got a weirdo.." she heard Yukito say, and she looked up at him, still with a curious expression, and found him smiling a little at her.

"You're not a weirdo, Yukito," Erin chided, unable to keep from smiling as she looked at him, ad for no explicable reason. "It's okay, I love you, anyway," she said, gingerly laying her head on his shoulder. "Really, though... thank you for talking to me."

[Elda Forever]

Yukito Maki

He helped her up, hovering around her protectively and keeping his mind focused obsessively on her knee, her balance, and her face. Her expression told him how worried she was now, how every time they met each other in any sort of way would make her afraid of going too far and making him 'uncomfortable'. He inwardly swore. Don't give a damn if I'm comfortable or not, Erin! Just...try to understand it.

“I don't want you to....” he started, and she looked up at him, silently waiting for his answer. Yukito wasn't quite sure what he wanted to say anyways, so he left it at that. He just pulled her a little closer as they stepped into the pool again, the water feeling lukewarm and necessary against the slight chill to the air. Goosebumps rose up on his arms and legs as the dark-colored shirt clung to him more desperately than he had ever clung to any hope of getting past this stupid, stupid fear.

"Sorry you got a weirdo.." he mumbled, unable to keep himself from a little ironic smile.

"You're not a weirdo, Yukito," she smiled up at him, and he had to roll his eyes, as if to say, 'Come on, be serious here.'

"It's okay, I love you, anyway," she admitted as she laid her head against his shoulder. He laid his head on hers, his cheek shocked by the sensation of just how cold her hair had become, still wet and slick from the water. Thanks. "Really, though... thank you for talking to me."

He arched an eyebrow even though she couldn't see it? "Hmm? Did you really want to know?" he spilled out the words before he could remind himself not to say them, pulling her closer for a second, hesitating again. Then, he dropped his hands into the water to wrap his arms around her waist. "I'm sorry, you know..." He tried to smile at her, but it looked too broken to be real, too much like a grimace of regret. "Let's just..move on from that. So we discovered tonight that I can't swim..." His lips twitched at the memory. "Utter fail...but at least I know you look hot in a swimsuit."

[GGJ5]

Erin Spenser

Yukito rolled his eyes dismissively at her declaration of his normalcy, and Erin didn't think there was any point in trying to argue her case now, even though she knew she was right. They'd had enough heavy discussion for one night... one week or month if he'd take it... she'd save her case for a later date.

"It's okay, I love you, anyway," she decided to settle with, gently resting her heavy head on his shoulder. Erin felt more at ease when she felt his face near hers. "Really, though... thank you for talking to me."

"Hmm? Did you really want to know?"

"Of course," she responded quickly, quietly. Honestly. Why wouldn't she? I don't care what it is, I just want to know it, because it's about you. And when you share stuff like that, the stuff that hurts more, it means that you want to include me more... maybe, I dunno, but I just want to know everything about you, even if it's not easy.

Yukito pulled her closer-- he had to, because she wasn't going to risk screwing up again so soon--his arms around her waist. "I'm sorry, you know..." She wanted to argue that, to tell him to quit being sorry and that he hadn't done anything for the umpteenth time, but all she got out was a little sighed, "Yukito... It's..."

"Let's just..move on from that. So we discovered tonight that I can't swim..." Erin gave the tiniest of laughs at the memory, unable to prevent the smile. "Utter fail...but at least I know you look hot in a swimsuit."

I guess you didn't realize it was things you say like that that made me think it would've been okay... She felt herself smiling coyly at the compliment, in spite of herself loving that he did in fact still found her attractive. She gave the briefest of kisses against his cheek, wishing it could have been more. "You can swim, Yukito, your arms and legs just don't know it yet..."

[Elda Forever]

Yukito Maki

Her head found its rightful place on his shoulder, and he laid his cheek against her hair. "Really, though... thank you for talking to me." Yukito couldn't really understand how she wanted to know things like that. The best he could come up with was the reasonings he had for wanting to know more about her.

"Hmm? Did you really want to know?" he wondered aloud, finding it hard to believe things like this were something that she liked to have knowledge of. He hated that she knew, because he was positive it would change everything he had been hiding to save the things they still had untouched by his past.

"Of course," she responded with quiet conviction.

His response was to pull her closer, his hands dropping to her waist and his smile a little broken. "I'm sorry, you know..." And I'm sorry that you know. Because now you're afraid and I feel it. That's the feeling I've been avoiding. Why do you think I don't want to tell people? Because it makes people feel awkward and unsure? That's how I feel so much of the time, Erin. And I didn't want us to share that every minute.

She sighed, sounding impatient with this broken-record topic. "Yukito... It's..."

"Let's just.." he cut her off gently, "Move on from that. So we discovered tonight that I can't swim..." She giggled a little, and he smiled before adding, "Utter fail...but at least I know you look hot in a swimsuit."

She gave the briefest of kisses against his cheek, "You can swim, Yukito, your arms and legs just don't know it yet..."

"Well, if we could find some way to tell them in their own language, that would be fantastic." he took hold of her arms, holding her still for a moment before kissing her again. The kisses between now and the awful explanation of the last hour had been only half-felt, half-feared. And he hated - hated - to feel the fear. With a dark expression he deepened the kiss, and he was determined to remind her of all the times it had been okay.

I can stop being afraid, but I need you to stop it, too. He thought irritably, pulling her closer so she couldn't pull away. "I love you." he whispered darkly when he left her to breathe, "So it's okay." Try something. If you don't push it, it'll be fine. Why can't I explain any of this to you? Why isn't it easier? Why doesn't it all go away and just leave the two of us here?

[GGJ5]

Erin Spenser

"You can swim, Yukito, your arms and legs just don't know it yet..." she told him after a timid kiss on his cheek.

"Well, if we could find some way to tell them in their own language, that would be fantastic."

She smiled at the comment. "Arm and leg language... Okay, I'll try to work on that for next time..."

Yukito responded with only a concentrated look, one of those looks where she'd learned he was thinking of something beyond the conversation at hand, thoughts she rarely was invited to know. He kept his hold on her, surprising Erin with a kiss that he didn't seem to want to let go. He pulled her closer to him, as if determined to keep her from shying away. He knew that she was scared of accidentally pushing him away again. He was telling her that she didn't have to feel that way, and she could only express the relieve and the gratitude by kissing him back, equally determinedly.

"I love you," he whispered darkly when he left her to breathe, "So it's okay."

"Promise?" she whispered back, her face still so close to his as she spoke. Without hesitation this time, Erin encircled her arms around his shoulders and kissed him again, as if it sealed her own private promise.

[Elda Forever]

OOC: I believe it's time to wrap this up, chica. ^.^ I looove this interaction, but there are so many fun ones waiting, soooo... BIC:

Yukito Maki

"You can swim, Yukito, your arms and legs just don't know it yet..." she told him after a timid kiss on his cheek.

"Well, if we could find some way to tell them in their own language, that would be fantastic." he added sarcastically, and that made her smile.

"Arm and leg language... Okay, I'll try to work on that for next time..."

Unfortunately by the time she responded, Yukito's mind had already wandered to a hypothetical world where he kept comparing. There was yesterday and today and tomorrow, in his mind. Every moment could be tense and worried, or they could be careless and temporarily happy. Those contented mediums were hard to find, and he could only ask so much of her. As usual, a single thought kept replaying in his head, distracting him from any real progress he might have made in figuring out what he should do, what was right and best. I don't want her to be afraid. I'm so sick of being afraid. It's stupid and meaningless. He pulled her closer and drew her into a reassuring kiss, hoping that she understood what he couldn't bring himself to say. He'd tried telling her so many times, and she hadn't gotten it. She'd missed it, like everybody else. But he'd kept trying, because he wanted her to know, as much as he hated her feeling the weight of it. He kissed her and said, 'it's okay to be close to me'.

And this time she got it. He could feel the wall starting to crumble when she pressed back against his lips, and his arms pinned her to him. He let out a sigh of relief as he pulled away far enough for air to pass between them. She didn't move away. "I love you," he whispered darkly, "So it's okay."

"Promise?"

Her arms encircled around his neck. He nodded, but it didn't seem to be official enough, so he mumbled, "Always. Itsumo." She kissed him again, and he moved into it, deepening it. "Y'know, I don't see how anybody could do any real swimming if this is how you teach them..." he mumbled, his lips twitching into a smile. After a few moments of just holding her, he added, "Guess this trip was really different from what I expected... I need to take you home. You were acting funny earlier. Are you dizzy or something?" He sat up a little straighter, unable to hide his growing concern that bubbled beneath his words. "Didn't you say something about a headache?"

[GGJ5]

OOC: agreed. BIC.

Erin Spenser

"I love you," he whispered after breaking their kiss, "So it's okay."

"Promise?" She pulled herself more closer to him as he nodded.

"Always. Itsumo." She kissed him again, and he moved into it, deepening it.

"Y'know, I don't see how anybody could do any real swimming if this is how you teach them..." she heard him mumble, and Erin found herself laughing lightly. "I'll work on it better for next time," she responded easily, quietly.

Yukito was silent for a minute, holding her, and really, the silence and stillness was okay. It was good, and it worked. "Guess this trip was really different from what I expected... I need to take you home."

The words made Erin look up at him curiously. Did I do something wrong again?

"You were acting funny earlier. Are you dizzy or something?"

"Huh? It's fine," she insisted, not liking the idea of being one of those ill and needy people... he'd probably make a big deal out of it or something and she didn't want that, either.

"Didn't you say something about a headache?"

"Oh, yeah, but it's mostly gone now, it's just a sore neck," she rattled off before stopping to think that she was, in essence, incriminating herself.

"And I told you I was dizzy at Koto, were you ignoring me?" Erin smiled playfully. "It hasn't exactly gone away." Oops. "I mean, I'm used to it for the most part now." Crap... stop talking! "Fine..." she conceded, mentally defeated.

[Elda Forever]

Yukito Maki

"I need to take you home. You were acting funny earlier. Are you dizzy or something?"

"Huh? It's fine," Erin looked up at him with a confused look. He prodded a little more, his eyes locked on her face.

"Didn't you say something about a headache?"

"Oh, yeah, but it's mostly gone now, it's just a sore neck," she said dismissively, "And I told you I was dizzy at Koto, were you ignoring me?" Erin smiled playfully. "It hasn't exactly gone away."

He stared at her. "How long have you been dizzy?" he demanded quietly.

"I mean, I'm used to it for the most part now."

"Erin..." his voice held the weight of a warning.

"Fine..."

Wordlessly, Yukito wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to the steps in the water, rough and cool beneath his feet. He bent down and tucked his hands behind her knees and lifted her up princess-style, holding her close as they exited the pool in the same instant. "You didn't tell me so I couldn't pamper you." he pouted a little. Then he stopped at the gate, still locked. "D***." He set her down, gesturing for her to stay put. "One second."

Yukito reached over and gripped a warped and rusty part of the fence in both hands, yanking on it roughly. It clinked and coiled back into place. He frowned as his knuckles stung, pulling on it again, closer to the brittle bits of wire twisted around to hold the fence on. A few little pops and he was on the ground with the fence in his hand, a section curved down enough for them to go through. He smiled over at Erin, proud of himself, and gestured at the opening. Then he stood up and brushed the bits of gravel off before reaching out wordlessly for Erin, not ready to take no for an answer. "Let's get you to the car and I'll come back for our stuff, okay? You can turn the heater on."

[GGJ5]

Erin Spenser

"It hasn't exactly gone away," Erin said by way of excuse, trying to make him see it wasn't a big thing.

He stared at her. "How long have you been dizzy?"

A shrug. "Comes and goes," she said, then tried to amend, "I mean, I'm used to it for the most part now."

"Erin..." his voice held the weight of a warning.

"Fine..." she conceded, knowing it was pointless to try to redeem herself.

Without a word, Yukito led her to the pool steps and, to Erin's surprise, started to lift her off her feet. "Woah." The sound escaped her before she thought about it-- Yukito's movement with her wasn't helping to stop the spinning feeling. She held onto him a little tighter than necessary, despite her inclination now to give him more space-- Erin didn't want to feel like falling. "You didn't tell me so I couldn't pamper you," Yukito pouted, making Erin smile a little. She looked over curiously when Yukito swore at something until she realized it was the gate that was still locked. Mm-hmm, how you gonna get around that one, goofball?

He got around it by setting her down, and when she made a move to get up, he gestured for her to wait. "One second." Erin exhaled in defeat, waiting a little impatiently for both her head to quit half-floating and for Yukito to let her do her own thing again.

But then Yukito started messing with the old fence, and he caught her curiosity. It took a few minutes, but he was pretty determined with the thing until it had, quite literally, bent to his will. Erin smiled at the image. Of course then he came right back to lift her up again, and if it wasn't for the fact that he was doing that because he thought she was incapacitated or something, Erin would have enjoyed the moment. Oh, well... "Let's get you to the car and I'll come back for our stuff, okay? You can turn the heater on."

"Fine," she drawled out again, not liking the idea of him picking up her things. They weren't exactly all in a neat pile or anything. "But if some creeper comes to the car while you're gone I'm not just gonna sit there and take it, so you better move quick." Even though it wasn't like they'd parked far away. It was right there.

[Elda Forever]

Yukito Maki

"Woah." he smiled at her reaction to being lifted up. His heart skipped a little when she clung more tightly to him, afraid of falling.

"You didn't tell me so I couldn't pamper you," Yukito pouted, making Erin smile a little. Then his eyes fell on the gate, and he swore at the potential problem here. After a moment, he set Erin down and went to tear the fence apart. Yukito smiled over at her, unknowingly hoping for a word of approval, then started to lift her again. "Let's get you to the car and I'll come back for our stuff, okay? You can turn the heater on."

"Fine," she drawled, and he chuckled as he worked his way carefully through the bent fence. "But if some creeper comes to the car while you're gone I'm not just gonna sit there and take it, so you better move quick."

His smile broadened. "If some creeper comes to the car, you have my blessing in totally obliterating him into a pulp. In fact, I hope you would. Or at least let me know so I can." Once at the car, he managed to juggle Erin and the keys, pulling it open with his hand while her legs sat on his wrist. He pulled the door open and set her inside, trying hard not to hit her head on anything. Once she was safely situated, he nodded. "One minute," and slipped back inside to gather everything. It only took a few seconds, and then he open the driver-side door to dump the loot between their seats. Sitting down and buckling up, he sent her a smile and a sigh. "Sunshine, you wear me out. Now it's time to go home." He bent over to give her a kiss before starting up the engine and heading back to the apartment building.

I think Yukito is done here.